My beautiful Mak Ju.

 Mak Ju (13 October 1955 - 3rd August 2012) with Ayden

Never thought I would be writing this post. It still seems so surreal, difficult to swallow. My dearest Mak Ju passed away so suddenly on the 3rd of August 2012. She was only 56. My mom's only sister, she was like a second mother to me. We are all still so saddened by her leaving us, not an indication of any serious illness, no signs etc. She simply stopped breathing around 2am on a Friday morning. She went back to Him so beautifully, so peacefully and without struggle during the month of Ramadhan. She looked so peaceful with a faint smile on her lips when we laid her down in our home, before her burial. I kissed her forehead one last time, careful not to let my tears fall onto her. People who loved my outgoing aunt came to see her, everyone's eyes red and spilling. The house was packed with visitors grieving. You could cut the sadness in the air with a knife. You see, you never forget a person like Mak Ju. Her soft smile etches a place in everyone's heart. She lit up the room with her funny jokes and her contagious laughter. I will always remember her dancing. How she made all of us laugh with her old fashioned moves. How she would ask me where I bought my blouse and I'd ask her where she bought her shoes. Her singing and her voice. How she played the piano so gracefully, the melodic and haunting sounds echoing throughout out house. How she was a supermom to my 7 cousins (she was the kind who baked marshmallows and sold them during CBN's Family Day) and superwife to my Ayah Yem. I grew up with her, sometimes all of us even living under one roof. I have known her everyday of my life.

This Hari Raya will be a sad one for all of us as we visit her grave and long for her to be here with us. For it to be just another Raya, where we'll see her taking her own sweet time getting ready in front of the mirror, looking as beautiful as always in her new raya attire. It pains us so deeply that she's not here with us. At home, there's a gaping sadness, an emptiness that we're all feeling. But after sahur this morning, I read my Aunty Azra's  (Mak Ju's cousin) facebook status about Mak Ju, and this is what she wrote to my cousins:

"My dearest nieces. This morning, while browsing my hp messages, I came across an sms from arwah, during a sad emotional period in my life recently. It had helped me at that time….Let me share it with you now, & hopefully it will somehow help soothe you too during this very sudden change in your young life. I am going to type exactly what she wrote ya. (pls share with zayana too as i cant find her in fb)

Your mother wrote: “Salam azra. Dis is my hp no. Delete the other no then(yg itu zaman tok kadok dah). Everyone goes thru dugaan dari ALLAH, THE SUPREME. HE always have HIS REASONS…some we realise to the reason (maybe for cleansing, kesedaran, keinsafan etc) some we dun ‘understand’ (ONLY HE KNOWS, GOD ALL KNOWING) we are so small in the Eyes of ALLAH. In this time of sadness, exercise patience. Patience will make one(u) endure sufferings over time. Bismillahitawakallallahilahawallaquataillahbillahilaliyiladzim.” Dated: 11 june 2012 at 11.05am

Al-fatihah to my late cousin Wan Julia Hood."

Mak Ju, your own words come at a time when we need them the most. You were always one to comfort people when they were down, because you had a genuine heart. Please know that whenever I feel close to tears thinking about you and the kids and how sad they must feel this raya, I'll take a deep breath and remember what you said. Patience. And we will get through another day.

Rest peacefully, my beautiful Mak Ju. You are with Him now. Al-Fatihah.

Ayden The Strong.

Right after your surgery, outside the OT

Just days after, at kakak's baby shower, where you walked about and were back to your cheeky self :)

Ayden,

I'm so proud of you. I can't even begin to tell you how you've come through your surgery like the champ that you are, already your active self just days after. You're even walking about now! I'm trying to forget everything that happened at the hospital, because to me and your baba it felt like one big nightmare and I just want to push it to the back of my mind, never to relive it again. Unless one day you're old enough for us to tell you about the day of your surgery and what a trooper you were. All I know now is that we got through it baby bear, we did it. You did it. You're such a strong boy, were the words I kept whispering over and over in your ear at the hospital while you lay there in my arms. And with my whole heart, I believed it. And Ayden, because of your strength, I found mine.

May you grow up speaking with beautiful diction, my love. InsyaAllah.

love,
Mama.

A new hope.

I've been bothered and worried about something for awhile now. Next week, Ayden will have to undergo a minor surgery at HUKM. 14th June has been playing a lot on my mind now and I'm summoning the courage to be strong for my son. I want to write and tell all of you what the surgery is for but I have yet to really sit down and write about his condition. Some of you who know me already know. It's not something to be majorly concerned about - Ayden is a happy, healthy baby. Ameen. But he needs this surgery, by hook or by crook. It's for the best. More on this in a later post. Meanwhile here's a pic of him which I snapped this morning:-

Finally managed to buy him suspenders which i've been looking for for a bit now :)

Happy Saturday, everyone.

Sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Sesame Street: Happy Thoughts Song

Happy thoughts, keep thinking happy thoughts!

Happy Sunday everyone :)

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

More photos from Ayden's Chosen One party!

Photos are taken from Maine's album! Thanks Maine!

sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Ayden updates - 1 year 1 month

Recent photo of Ayden at 13 months, sporting his mini mohawk!

I've been extremely busy juggling work and family and myself (have been feeling a little under the weather lately because I'm just tired all the time) that this blog has been seriously neglected. Everytime I feel the urge to write, I'm just too whacked out to even start typing! My work requires me to type quite a bit (since I write speeches and press releases) so when I go home, the laaast thing I want to do is..you guessed it, type.

But when Ayden gets older, I really do want him to go back to this blog and read about his milestones, so I feel I owe it to him and to myself to update from time to time, as his baby months fly by faster and faster and he tumbles into toddlerhood. So here goes! Ayden at 13 months: This boy is SO full of energy. Whew, Ayden bear you can barely sit still unless you're watching your cartoons or sesame street! The other day, Yasir, mama, kakak and i went to Ben's at Pavillion for a Mother's Day brunch...

...you see those lemons in the bowl right there? You, mister, proceeded to throw them everywhere after this photo was taken! You just love throwing things, you get a kick out of it, but for the rest of us, it's having to constantly pick up after you. But well, I guess I do get a bit of exercise from doing that. By the way, in this photo, your mameena is 7 months pregnant and we're sooo excited for your little boy cousin to pop out!

Me trying to make you sit still for a photo. 

 Teeth-wise, you now have two prominent teeth on your lower gums, and are sprouting two more on your upper gums. You've got a wonderful appetite, but what you love the most is stealing 'adult food' from people. Whenever you see people around you eating, you'll practically jump on us for a bite! This morning i had to let you have some of my french fries! You're still eating your porridge because you don't have that many teeth yet. Oh, you LOVE fruits. You're the total opposite of your mommy. Haha. Whenever your mameena sits down in front of the tv with a plate full of fruits, you'll come crawling right across for some fruit lovin'. We feed you apples every morning too, it's your morning ritual. The other day Baba bought you some peaches and you savoured every bite. You're a little fruit monster!

You're still mostly crawling so that puts you a wee bit behind in terms of walking, but baby bear, I'm in no rush to force you to do things you're not ready to do yet. Plus, although you're still crawling rather than walking MAN you're fast! You crawl at lightning speed! Whenever you play ball with baba you dart across the room like you're on wheels. You stand up a lot though, with support from tables, chairs, doors and humans. Slowly but surely, you're learning to walk. Last night I watched you walk (correction: practically run) with your toy walker  across the room without help from anyone and I felt so proud of you. I have no doubt that you'll be standing on your own two little feet anytime soon, sweet cheeks. Take it all in stride :)

Behaviour-wise, you're still a hoot. You developed this habit of growling - I don't know where in the world you picked up that habit, but you'd go "ahhh" in a very low toned growl and you crack people up when you do that! You sometimes imitate cat noises too. You're still clingy to your momma bear, and I'm soaking this phase in for as long as it'll last :) You're pretty possessive. Sometimes when I'm carrying you, you won't let anyone else touch me - if someone does, you're quick to push or smack that person's hand away! I'm not talking about weak little pushes, my man, you are STRONG! You can push a human adult with such force! haha. I keep on telling baba how you're such a 'boy'. Even your voice is deep, to go with that boyish personality of yours. You still say mamama a lot. And you call anything and everything "mama". I don't mind that one bit, but I'm waiting for the day you'll fully understand that you only have one "mama"!

Alright, as I'm typing all this, I can hear you downstairs and I miss you already so I'm going to stop here. I love you boo boo. I don't know when or where you'll be reading this in the future, but know that if you're reading this as a young adult or a full grown man,  that I'm so proud of you, even at 13 months old when you first started walking with your walker all by yourself...seeing your little feet pitter-pattering across the room, so gung-ho and carefree with a huge smile on your face. Even when the world falls down on your shoulders, I hope you'll always find that bright light that you have inside you.That's the little man you are now, and the man I hope and know you still are years later.

My strong, gung-ho, Ayden Hood.

love,
your momma bear.

I'm on pinterest!

This is what I do when I'm bored...http://pinterest.com/aainaaribena/

Follow me if you're bored too ;)

sloppy kisses xx

Innalillah.

Ayden, one day i will tell you all about how you laughed when dada put you on his knee and played horse, how he always sang you the ABC, how his face would light up whenever he saw you and just how he loved you so so much. You may be too young to remember all that now but one day i'll tell you all about your grandfather, that fiery spirit he had, the same quality i see in you. The amazing father he was to baba and to me, the father i never had. One day ayden, you'll understand how he lives in our hearts and yours.


-Reposted from my facebook status. Yasir's father passed away in Mekah on the 1st of May 2012. He was a great man, a dedicated father and a loving grandfather. Ba, you will be sorely missed.