Puberty is awesome.

It makes you turn from this...







...into THIS.





I rest my case.

p/s: Okay, I know puberty didn't exactly give him his six pack, but I'm sure it helped with muscle growth!

The cutest 10 weeks pregnant ultrasound!

Yah yah, another pregnancy post, but you guys have to watch this...it is soo cute! Baby at 10 weeks, and is moving :) Please ignore the male voice at the background ha ha. Ama-za-zing.

Alllll night longgggggg, baby.

My stomach strikes again - I spent almost all night resisting the urge to vomit. I had to sleep sitting up in the dark half the night because I couldn't lie down in fear of my food creeping up on me again. Not exactly comfortable.

I have also been googling 'baby bump 10 weeks' and find it amazing that some women are showing a lot at 10 weeks. My stomach is close to being flat! I could still wear a bikini! Which kind of makes me a little paranoid...but I've read that a baby bump at ten weeks is usually due to being bloated and gassy. The baby is only the size of a kumquat anyway...kumquat is quite a funny word, isn't it? Sounds like something you would call a stupid person ("You forgot to bring the house keys?? You KUMQUAT!! or or "That salesgirl thinks I'm a size M, when clearly I'm an XS! Duh, what a kumquat!")

Anywhoodle, how big is a kumquat again? Google time! I swear, if I had a penny for everytime I've said "Thank god for Google"..

So there you go...kumquats. Hmmm. Next up, figs.

sloppy kumquat kisses xxx

Conversations with my stomach.

Me: Hey...

Stomach: 'Sup.

Me: Uh...everything I try to put in you. That's what's up. By the way..yesterday was a bit harsh.

Stomach: *chuckles* oh yeah, yesterday.

Me: Why you gotta be like that? You know I'm TERRIFIED of puking!

Stomach: It was kinda fun though, you gotta admit. *grins* You were banging on the door and all...(mimics my voice) "Ohhh sayaaanggg I think I'm gonna pukeeee ohhhh!" Ahh, fun.

Me: Fun? Having me run to the bathroom and puking my guts out is fun? FUN??

Stomach: Dude, you're pregnant, what else do you expect?

Me: Don't give me that excuse! How about all those other people who can get through their first trimester without a hint of nausea? I mean, it's bad enough that you've got me feeling nauseous at everything I try to eat...but actually making me hurl? Sigh. I thought we were friends.

Stomach: Hey, I have behaved all these years...

Me: Then continue behaving!!!

Stomach: Nah..*makes gagging noises*

Me: Dude, why you trippin'?

Stomach: Serves you right for not letting me have my salmon sushi for the next seven months.

Me: Oh.

Nasi lemak (tak) best.

Why the hell is it so hard to find good nasi lemak nowadays?? Last weekend, I was craving for nasi lemak with kerang, and I know I was probably being a pain in the arse (okay, I was DEFINITELY being a pain in the arse, judging from my husband's face), but I wanted this specific type of sambal..you know, the sweet-tasting type. I mean, for me, sambal makes or breaks the nasi lemak..you can pile on the chicken, paru-paru, sotong, kerang, kambing, alligator balls, but if the sambal is crap, then...FAIL. Some of the plainest nasi lemak, which come only with a pathetic excuse of an egg taste really good because the sambal is slammin'. Really.

Back to last weekend. So I sent Yasir out for a nasi lemak hunt at 9am (when else can you get your nasi lemak right?) I specifically told him, "Sayang, please beli nasi lemak with kerang, and sambal yang sedap, manis-manis!" He comes to Keramat half an hour later, with a huge ass brown packet. There I am, licking my lips the whole time while 'unwrapping' this monster of a packet, anticipating what I was about to devour. I probably looked like a greedy pregnant woman. I was. So as soon as I unwrap it, I stare at it for three seconds. And then I look at Yasir.

"Where's my kerang?"

"That place takde kerang. So I took paru instead." says Yasir. Innocently.

Yasir, Yasir, Yasir. I love the boy to death, don't get me wrong, but paru is certainly not kerang. Paru does not taste like kerang, nor does it look like kerang. Paru is dry, and kerang is...wet. Or something like that. Paru is from an animal, while kerang is from...the sea. If I had wanted paru, I would have said, "Sayang please get PARU. Not kerang. PARU." But I didn't, did I? I taste the sambal, and it tastes bland. Sigh. So a minute later, I'm calling up everyone I know to ask where the FUCK (excuse the swearing, but at this point that was the only thing I felt like doing) do I get nasi lemak with kerang and sambal yang manis-manis.

Five minutes later, Yasir is out the door again, this time to get KERANG and to find GOOD sambal.

When he reaches home, I say a little prayer (though I think the poor boy was praying harder than I was)...and open the packet. Kerang, check. I taste a little of the sambal. Not great, but better than before. And at this point, I know I couldn't send Yasir out a third time, that would just be harsh! I take a spoonful.

THE RICE WAS HALF COOKED. &&^#^&$^&&*^$%@*

Who likes half cooked nasi lemak, angkat tangan!!!!!

Sigh. In the end, I ended up not eating that morning. I wasn't being picky, even mama agreed that the rice was half cooked and grainy!

The next morning, my stepdad decided to tackle the problem and buy nasi lemak. Again, the sambal was CRAP.

I think I'm going to boycott nasi lemak from now on. End of story.

* No husbands were harmed during the event that took place.

Travel happy

Surprise, surprise, Yasir and I haven't gone on our honeymoon yet. And we haven't been on a holiday since forever, so I will make it our mission to go on a holiday within weeks 14 - 27 of my pregnancy, because apparently that's the best time to travel. I won't be nauseated 24/7, and will have boundless energy. Say the pregnancy websites. Fingers crossed. But we won't go somewhere far though, a local holiday will be good enough for me, just as long as we go SOMEWHERE. I'm not picky! All I want is a change of scenery, and have that 'I'm-on-holiday' feeling! Holidayyy! Celebrate!!

Okay, I think I'm gonna go lie down now.

sloppy kisses.

Hmmmmmmmm....

...I think I could do with a red velvet cupcake, right about now.

This is a pregnancy diary entry.

I've been googling a lot about pregnancy lately, for obvious reasons of course, and found that quite a few expecting mothers document their journey online, through a video diary or blogging. I don't think I have any of that dedication, because I'd have to be consistent should I decide to start a pregnancy diary (forgodsakes, my bridezilla blog has yet to be updated and the wedding ended two months ago), so I'm just going to write some pregnancy entries in this blog, if I feel the need.

Right, how do I start this? I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant, about to go into my 11th week by the end of this week. It has been quite a ride so far. Let's just say, a nauseating ride. Though I haven't really properly thrown up yet..not sure if throwing up air counts. I say throwing up air because I heaved (twice) but nothing came out. Unfortunately this was smack in the middle of an outing in Cineleisure..I started getting cold sweat all of a sudden and my vision started to blur, I really thought I was going to pass out in the middle of the restaurant! Ran to the Ladies, barged through even if cleaning was in progress, just to get two indon maids thinking I was drunk in the middle of the afternoon. Ugh. Kakak and Yasir came in after me, and calmed me down, which was nice of them. They know how TERRIFIED I am of puking, it's right up there with the 'Top 10 Things 'Aainaa Is Petrified Of'.

Appetite-wise, I don't have an appetite, and most of the times have to force myself to eat something. Which is quite sad, because I used to love food. I usually love eating and look forward to meals, but now it's the complete opposite..I wouldn't have a clue to what I can stomach without feeling the urge to hurl, which is quite tedious...it's mostly a 'trial and error' thing. Yasir would get me something to eat, I'll sniff at it, nibble, and would almost always push it away. And we'd be back at square one. But when I pity Yasir, I'll suck it up and eat whatever he's bought. And then feel like throwing up afterwards.

Besides the all-day nausea, which intensifies towards the end of the day, there hasn't been a change in mood swings...as yet. I'm usually quiet because of the nausea, but have not had the urge to snap anyone's neck. Hopefully this will continue throughout my pregnancy, if not, I have sat Yasir down and told him that if at anytime I start acting a little Linda Blair-ish in The Exorcist, it's the hormones doing the talking, not me. Just imagine the hormones as The Devil, and he should get the picture. He was very understanding, and is bracing himself for the day my head will do a 360 degree turn and cause furniture to go flying about. Which hopefully, will never happen.

My baby bump is yet to be visible..it's only been a little over two months, and most people don't start showing till their fourth month, so I guess it'll be a while till people can tell I'm pregnant straight away from looking at me. I've just got a little 'buncitness' going on, like I've had one drink too many I guess. At times it's quite prominent, then it becomes less 'buncit'. Gas, methinks.

Oh, here's a little snippet on what's happening to my baby in my 10th week:

How your baby's growing:

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

Amazing. Something with nails, fingers and toes is in my uterus. Okay that sounds a little gross. But absolutely wonderful to me :) Sloppy kisses!

xxx

Where have all the good horror movies gone?

I'm a self-confessed horror movie junkie. And is it just me, but lately most of the scary movies out there are, to put it simply, absolute crap? Sigh. I've shelled out hundreds of ringgit hoping to watch a good horror movie at the cinema, just to be disappointed again and again. What happened to quality, scary movies like The Exorcist? I suppose it's because audiences today have seen anything and everything when it comes to horror...nothing scares us anymore! Years ago, the thought of a ghost disguised in a clown suit would scare the shit out of most of us and haunt us in our dreams, but nowadays, a plot like that might just be a recipe for laughs. Demon in a child's body? Yawn. Child ghosts never really scared me anyway. Asian female ghost with long black hair and white dress? So what else is new. Even possessed chicks don't do it anymore. GAH.

So when my brother-in-law bbm-ed me and told me he watched M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Devil last night and thought I might like it, I got a little bit excited. Then I remembered that my sister and him are both scaredy cats, so what may seem scary to them might seem 'blah' to me. I youtubed the trailor..and yep, it already looks like a disappointment.

But, as usual, I'm shelling out my 12 bucks anyway! Here's hoping!

20/9/10 update: Not too bad, though definitely not scary, it was rather entertaining. Even my nausea was put on hold during the spooky scenes. Not what you're looking for if you prefer an in-your-face hantu movie..this one's rather tame. It might keep you guessing though. Watch if you have nothing better to do on the weekend.

Names.

So, we've narrowed it down to two names:-

Ayden Hood if it's a boy (Hood is taken from datuk's name)

and

Alana if it's a girl :)

Still open for suggestions, though!

xxx

Those days..

So I was flipping channels when I came across Slam Dunk on channel Animax. Brings me back to the days when I used to obsess over Rukawa Kaede, this hottie who plays a mean game of basketball, and was oh so mysterious...

And after all these years, I'd (still) do him!!

For my baby..

I foresee myself singing this song to you a lot, when you can't sleep and when you're crying :)

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

[Outro:]
If I ain't got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Best road trip song. We all love us some Roxette!

*smooch*

Probaby the best song ever to sing and dance in front of a mirror to, hairbrush optional! Uhhhh Uhhhh! Sing it Prince!

9th week ultrasound

I totally forgot to ask the doctor for a picture of my ultrasound last week, so I googled a 9 week ultrasound and what came up was pretty much what we saw last week :)

From a tiny dot to a tiny baby-shaped fetus! Pretty cool :D My next ultrasound is at the end of this month, when i'm around 12 weeks, so insya-Allah we'll be able to see quite a defined baby. And this time I'll ask for a photo so I don't have to go around and steal someone else's ultrasound pic haha. Sloppy kisses! xxx

Selamat Hari Raya!

It's the second day of raya and Yasir and Dickie are playing some loser baseball game on Xbox..so I figured I'd update my blog since I have nothing to do :P

Sorta had a little pregnancy-related scare on Thursday..was spotting (if you don't know what that means - had blood..just a little though on my undies), so Yasir and I rushed to the hospital to meet with a proper gynea. We did a little scan, and the baby has grown!! From a small dot, to an actual shape! We saw its little heartbeat too..it was beating soooo fast and I was smiling so widely like an idiot just looking at it..the doctor pointed out its legs, which were moving too!

Alhamdulillah the doctor says everything looks very clear and it's a great sign to be able to see the heartbeat..so we felt very, very relieved. But she did say that the spotting could be a warning sign from the baby,and instructed that I rest A LOT, not do a lot of walking, or even get too excited during raya, which kinda sucks balls but hey, anything for my baby, right? So yesterday, I slept in and rested while everyone went to a couple of my relatives' houses...sigh. Oh well.

Despite me having to miss out on some fun, it's still raya! And just imagine, next raya, there'll be a little baby that I'll have to dress and breastfeed in front of my relatives and absolute strangers ha ha. Fun fun fun! Okay, gotta go feed the baby in my belleh. Selamat Hari Raya everyone and Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

Sloppy raya kisses,

'Aainaa

2010 has been/is still a crazy year!

Let's recap:

I got engaged.

My big sister got married.

Mariam got married.

My cousin Zayanah got married.

I got married.

I'M PREGNANT.

..the last one is probably the biggest shocker out of all. haha. Alhamdulillah. We found out three weeks after the nikah, so you can say Yasir is a sharp shooter, and I'm super fertile. Together we make a killer duo!

Right after we got married, I had this nagging suspicion that I was pregnant. I remember joking about it with Yasir, but he would brush me off every single time, as if I was syok sendiri. This is how it would go down:

Me: Sayang, I think I'm preggers.

Yasir: You're not! (continues playing xbox)

Me: Should I just buy a test kit and get it over with?

Yasir: No, don't waste your ten bucks (continues playing xbox)

So this would go on and on, and I would think that maybe I was just being paranoid paula. So what did I do next? I went and bought myself a black, crochet monokini and the tightest, super skinniest jeans imaginable from Topshop. These are both now hanging in my closet, wondering when they will ever see the light of day. There goes close to 300 bucks!

Anyway, the day we both found out I had a bun in the oven was purely accidental. It was the first day of puasa, and I had the nastiest gastric pains. So my husband did what any good husband would do and took me to the clinic. As we pulled up into a parking spot, I spotted "pregnancy test" imprinted on the clinic's glass window. I'm going to get myself tested, and no one will stop me! I sneakily thought to myself. HAH!

So while we were in the doctor's office I asked him about the pregnancy test. And again, Yasir was hesitant. And it didn't help that the doctor looked at me like I was a teenage kid who just got knocked up. So I took the small plastic cup and proceeded to the toilet at the back. And peed. Luckily, I had a lot to drink during buka.

After an eternity of waiting for the doctor to call us back in, I started to feel really embarrassed. I was sure that the results would be negative and the doctor and Yasir would gang up and laugh at me and go "tsk tsk! A little too excited now are we??" and they would high-five or something and do one of those finger pointing laughs. Finally, the nurse called my name and we walked into the room.

The first thing I saw was the stick with two lines. (preggo test kit for dummies 101: one line means not preggo, two lines means preggo).

What happened from there on was an out of body experience. All I could see was Yasir's face in total shock, and I vaguely remember me laughing and crying and going "Are you serious?? Am I dreaming?? Are you serious?? Is this a dream??" And the doctor going "Yes yes you're not dreaming. Congratulations."

So that was three weeks ago :) I'm now in my 7th week, close to 8th week and I saw my little tiny dot of a baby during a scan a couple of days ago! Feeling nauseous most of the time too, and my appetite has deteriorated because everything looks...blergh. Every smell makes me want to puke. Haven't puked yet, thank god, but I have come very close to doing so. A hell of a lot of times. It hasn't really been a breeze so far, with the ongoing nausea, but I know, it's all worth the 'blerghness'! Plus, my boobs are way bigger, man.

Here's to a new chapter in our lives, baby! Insya-allah :)

sloppy kisses!

Come May

Mannnn, it's been ages since I last blogged about something non-wedding'y'. I guess that's all I've been thinking about nowadays; my mind's preoccupied with flowers...centerpieces and table runners. Just to name a few. It actually feels good to be writing about something else now. Phew.

Okay, so I am sooo looking forward to May like you won't believe. Why? Because I'M GOING ON A FRIGGIN BREAK. woooohoooooo! Told my principal that I wanted to leave/take a break in May till whenever. The reason why I typed 'leave/take a break', is because I'm not 100% sure yet if I'll be leaving Eton for good. My principal wants me to come back in August. Part of me is "Yeah right I'm coming back!!" and part of me is "Phew at least I have a job waiting for me after the break!" I admit, I may be contemplating to come back because I know I'll miss my students. But I'm not sure if I want to be trapped in a job where you can't even take leave or go on a holiday. The feeling really leaves you miserable. What you take forgranted in a normal office job really seems like a LUXURY when you're teaching in Eton. I want to be able to book a few holidays and jet set with my soon-to-be husband. I mean, what's the point of living if you don't enjoy life and do something fun once in a while?

So here's to May and a much needed looooong break. Need to start scheduling some pampering spa sessions soon! Anyone up for it? :)

sloppy kisses!

Rest in peace Buffy

I miss you. May you be with your mom in heaven. I tried to save you...but god wants you near Him. You were so full of life, and that's how I will always, always remember you. I'm happy we had our last 'cuddle' two days before you left us; you were purring so loud, and I felt so content. I guess it's harder for me, because I took you in and gave you a loving home and thought I would see you grow up...but everything happens for a reason. Seeing your pictures in this blog makes it harder for me, but I'm not going to remove the post...I want to remember you exactly like that, playful and so loving.

I just miss you so much :(

I. NEED. A. BREATHER

I'm just so maxed out. I haven't gone on a holiday in ages. I can't go on a holiday because my workplace is so friggin rigid when it comes to things like these - I am currently looking for a new workplace. I still enjoy teaching, but I have to say...it IS tiring. I teach for 8 hours on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and finish at 7pm every single day. So many people are counting on you to show up on a daily basis, that you really don't have time to yourself. Teaching is not like having an office job...if you teach for 8 hours, you're 'on' for 8 hours. Talking, overseeing your students..class excercises. It's not like you can take ten minutes off to surf facebook and then resume teaching. You're 'present' body, mind, and soul for the whole of that 8 hours. Someone once said teaching is the most selfless job there is out there. I couldn't agree more. I show up to work even when I'm down with a fever, or having a terrible flu when I know I need to rest. Calling up the headmaster to ask for a day off because you're sick is a huge no-no. You HAVE to show up, unless your lying in your bed dying. Taking leave is not an option; unless you REALLY REALLY have to - going on a holiday? You must be joking.

I have to say though, that teaching IS a rewarding experience. Seeing the students you care about day after day, knowing that they're improving because of you...the job satisfaction is unreal. But right now, I'm barely getting any rest....I teach 8 hours during weekdays, and am busy running around getting all the wedding chores done during the weekend. Then it's back to work again. My body is screaming at me to slow down - I get stomach cramps where I can barely walk, I have insomnia...yesterday I didn't sleep a wink, and am having a fever right as we speak...and I was still contemplating whether to show up for work this morning. Cant remember the last time I went on medical leave. Called up the headmaster, Mr Seo, with trembling hands and told him I was sick. He mumbled something under his breath about "You can't do this...blablablabla". This is the man who won't even give all of our public holidays.

I need to get outta there.

I still want to teach...but maybe not as much as 8 hours a day. Part time maybe?

Kakak's married.

So I guess this means we're not going to share a bed anymore. Or sleep in the TV room together. Or watch trashy reality shows after work. Or watch E! news on Saturday mornings. Or talk about our cats everyday.

Things are definitely not going to be the same. I'm happy for her, but...sigh.

SIGH :(

Chillin' with Buffy

...and she finally falls asleep :)

i'm so tired....

I need a break. Really badly. A one week holiday will do, ANYTHING. Please, just give me a break :(

The Wedding Blog.

I did it. I now have a separate blog to stash my wedding planning posts, and keep this one for other stuff. Hop on over if you're keen:

**Click!**

...this way I won't feel too guilty bombarding y'all with wedding related stuff in this blog. Feel free to drop comments there too!

sloppy kisses.

To floss or not to floss

Okay, I need a show of hands...who thinks it would be a good idea to have cotton candy at my nikah (solemnization ceremony)? There won't be any children around...but it would bring out the kid in everyone, I think. I know I'd be all up in that sugary goodness if I went to a nikah that had cotton candy, hell yeaaaahs! Would you? Thoughts please! I know who reads my posts and most of you are my closest friends (and if you're not I would still appreciate it), so give your two cents worth! like, NOW! haha. Much love.

sloppy cotton candy kisses!

I'm so excited!

I have found THE perfect wedding favour for my black and white reception!! It's a secret ;)

My Sister's Wedding

My only sister is going to be a married woman in.....ten days. Strangely, I know I'm going to miss arguing with her about who gets to use the big comforter to sleep once she moves out of the house. Am going to start working on my speech for her wedding. Will post it here after the reception on the 19th of Feb :)

I know you know this, but I'm proud of you, woman.

Buffy

...so I brought another kitten back home. This time, it's a girl :) She's a teeny tiny little thing - Yasir and I were getting into his car because we were on a mission to stuff our faces with Carl's Jr's Guacamole burger for dinner (which we found out later they don't serve anymore, MY LIFE IS OVERRRRRR *&&^%^&#*$%@^&*#), and as I was about to shut the car door I saw this wee little silhouette from miles away, darting about towards the middle of the road....while two on-coming cars loomed behind it. Something possessed me then, because I shouted (although I know the drivers couldn't hear me from where I was) and like a zombie, I got out of the car while Yasir had no idea what in the world was going on, the poor boy. I started walking and walking (thank god she ran back to the side of the road, so the cars narrowly missed her) and finally reached the tiny thing and scooped her in my arms. Her fur was wet and she was shivering. I cooed to her while walking back to the house, while Yasir joined me and finally figured out what all the ruckus was about. She's just about three months old, and suffering from a horrible flu - sneezing, snotty nose, eyes so caked with gunk she could barely open them - the works.

It's been four days since I first laid eyes on her, and she's recovering well...kakak and I cleaned her eyes (well, kakak did most of the eye gunk cleaning, because she's supernaturally good at that) and I brought her to the vet for some proper medication. She's a spunky little thing, she is! Always pouncing on things and biting everything - hence the name Buffy (the vampire slayer) And ever so manja too; she loves to cuddle and cosy up with kakak and me. In a bid not to jinx things, I would say things are looking pretty alright :)

Here's to another addition to the Keramat cat family!

this is freaky...

...you know my post about my nikah designs..and I showed the one in Courtney Cox but I said I want a boatneck and full lace? This dress that Kate Hudson wore to the SAG awards is like 90% spot on! :



the neckline looks like it's choking her a bit though, but the sillhouette is exactly what I had in mind!! Now imagine it in lace. The dress is backless by the way, which I loveeeeee but of course will not be able to get away with at my nikah. Ha ha.

sloppy kisses!

Count.

*Warning, spoiler ahead.

So I finally watched My Sister's Keeper.

Sigh.

And to make matters worse, I just found out my neighbours next door have a little girl who has Leukemia. They go three times a week to the hospital for check-ups and medication.

I don't know what's harder: knowing you're dying, or watching your little one slowly wasting away.

And the scenes in the movie where Kate Fitzgerald meets the love of her life who is also terminally ill, goes on 'dates' together in the hospital while he holds back her hair and she vomits from having undergone chemo...and to actually lose him in the end..it's not JUST a movie, these things happen in real life.

What these people would give to have a normal relationship. Ones we take forgranted everyday. It could be as simple as going to watch a movie, being bored over the weekend because there's nothing to do but hang out and watch tv, or planning to go on a holiday together next month. And big ones, like getting married...and planning a future together, or starting a family.

And for that, I am very very very thankful.

Never too late, eh.

Okay, call me ketinggalan zaman but I would like to list down my new year resolutions. Why, you ask? Because I would like to improve myself further and become a better human being. Bullshit, I'm just bored. I never follow these things anyways. But at least I've made a conscious effort to TRY (just by typing away, I AM trying, am I not?) Here goes:

IN THE YEAR 2010, I ,'AAINAA VOW TO...

- Stay away from online blogshops as much as I can. I will not turn to them in times of turmoil. I will recognise that while there may be the thrill of the purchase as I drop a seller an e-mail and manage to secure that uber cute dress, that feeling will vanish as fast as it came. Just because I'm feeling fat, or I'm PMS-ing, or I'm stressed, or because I'm tired, or because I have nothing to do and nothing good is on tv, or because it's Tuesday..these reasons will not justify my purchases no more!!

- Plan my wedding. Forgodsakes woman, get cracking!!

- Drink more water, eat less ice cream.

- Learn how to cook. It will only be a matter of time when Yasir and I are married and my husband realises that he is being fed microwaveable goodies and lamb chops (because it's the only thing i know how to make - marinade, pop it into a microwave and voila!). Learning how to cook entails crafting proper Malay dishes; tumbuk-cilli-padi-tabur-kunyit-garam-lada-secukup rasa-ye-tuan-tuan-dan-puan-puan style. The works. Oh god.

- Buy a cute apron, but only to encourage my quest in learning how to cook!

- Shut up when mama is having one of her 'episodes'. There is no point in saying what I think, or feel. Recognise the 'signs' (when she is starting to foam at the mouth being an obvious one) and slowly walk away. Or maybe don't walk away, she might attack from the back. Stay there and shut up. Take it like a soldier.

Right. That's all I can think of for now. Told you I'm crap at this.

sloppy kissie-poos!
xxx

The search for the perfect design

Alhamdulillah, I am now happily engaged to Ahmad Yasir bin Mohd Yusoff :) The event turned out well, and I am thankful that I have great friends and family to help me out at times of need. You people know who you are ;)


Alright, so the nikah date is set for July 17th 2010, which means I have....around 5 months to plan everything. I kind of get into a hyperventilating state when I think about it properly, because it has dawned on me that I haven't planned ANYTHING. The venue has yet to be confirmed, and let's not go into other details. This Saturday, I vow to myself that I will buy a cute notebook and call it my 'wedding organizer'. I will then start bringing it around and scribble down anything wedding- worthy. My plan of action is to scratch out the basic things like venue, caterer, makeup etc first...and then toy with creative ideas later.


In general, I have a vague idea of how I want my nikah to be like..I've been surfing the web for inspiration and I've found that I tend to lean towards vintage-y easy breezy weddings, with a charming feel. I like looking at brides with vintage-looking dresses, messy upswept hair and venues with quirky decorations and special little details. I feel that while most people prefer putting in a lot of effort into the reception, I would love for my nikah to be just as special, if not more - because that's the moment Yasir and I will officially be husband & wife :) And I want to remember that day the most, because I'll be surrounded by my closest friends and family.


Okay, so first things first: my nikah attire. I've been searching high and low for the perfect design for the material I've (or rather, Yasir has) bought for me. It's made of lace netting, with little ruby stones over the white lace. It caught my eye because it looked vintage-inspired, and isn't too bling-bling. I want to stray away from the normal conventional designs there are out there for Malay brides, but still have it simple and definitely not over-the-top. So after extensive searching, this particular design inspired me and definitely shows potential:






Of course, the neckline has to be different for modesty reasons (I'm toying with different types of necklines)...and the sleeves have to be full-length. And I would prefer for the bottom half to not be so stiff, but more flowy. So basically my lace netting material would be at the top half while I keep the lower half plain... something like the bottom half of this dress:






I like how it's slinky and flowy at the same time. It looks slightly too clingy for a nikah, so it will definitely be less form-fitting. I've got different ideas for the waistband too...either to keep it simple like in the first picture, or have it slightly wider and ruched with the small white buttons which i love so much on bridal gowns - they also contribute to the vintage feel.


I have another design in mind, which I can't seem to find online..but it's basically a one-piece as well, where the lace will be used throughout, fitted long sleeves and a boatneck neckline. To give you guys a sort-of picture, take this image.....






....imagine it with a boatneck, long sleeves and with a slightly more fitting skirt and longer (?). If I'm feeling experimental, then a little ruching at the waist. Another picture to give you a better idea of what I'm talking about:



The silhouette of this dress is just about right, except the neckline and a less fuller skirt. Nevermind that Courtney Coz looks like she is in dire need of a hamburger or two, I think this dress is classy and timeless :) Imagine it with full lace and a boatneck you kinda get the picture of the design I have in mind.



As for my veil, I saw this image online and it caught my attention :

I love love love this. Of course mine will be less see-through, but I MUST HAVE THE LACE. Will search high and low for something which comes remotely close to it. But basically, my veil will be trimmed with lace, by hook or by crook of course.

There you have it. I'm a bit more relieved now that I have a slight idea of where my nikah attire is heading. These designs look hassle-free too, which will enable me to move around and have fun. Stay tuned for more wedding ideas (if you can stomach them! ha ha)

sloppy kisses!

xoxoxo

The Engagement

I'm getting engaged this Sunday.

I'm getting engaged. I'M GETTING ENGAGED!!!!

I'm getting engaged to a wonderful man, a man who is so good to me and who still makes my heart flutter. A man who makes me smile just by the sight of him and who loves me for who I am. A man who looks past my flaws, my paranoia and who I can be my 'busuk' self with. A man who thinks I'm beautiful even when I'm doing my Arab laugh. And most importantly, a man who I can see myself spending the rest of my life with and starting a family with.



Yasir, I'm so lucky I'm getting engaged to you. This is just the start of the adventure we're about to embark on. It will get bumpy at times and it won't always be a fairytale romance, but there's no one else I'd rather go through all that than with you. I feel safe knowing that my fragile heart is in your hands, because I know you will take good care of it and will never do anything to hurt me. Thank you for being patient with me during these crucial times, I'm slowly but surely letting go of all my insecurities about marriage..

I can't wait till this Sunday when I'll finally be able to call you my fiance. When we'll let the world know yes, we are getting married and that I'm going to be your wife.

Here's to our engagement, sayang. Can't wait to see you looking all handsome in your baju melayu. Ikat sampin betul-betul ok.

Love,
Your soon-to-be fiancee :)

One of my 'happy' posts

It's been a while. I've been feeling very emo lately (I'm thinking PMS might have something to do with that). So it's high time. Here we go!

- When Mar comes back from Singapore. I miss that kid.

- When the bell goes off and I have my ten minute, heavenly break in between classes.

- My students cracking a joke which actually cracks me up.

- My students completing their in-class excercises well, which means I'm teaching them well.

- Clear skin. Even for a day.

- My girlfriends. They keep me sane. They make the world seem like a better place. I love them to death. Told you I'm feeling emo.

- Shoe shopping.

- This may seem contradicting, but crying my eyes out while watching a sad movie. In a way, I feel like I'm 'cleansing' my heart. Is that weird?

...hmmmm, may buy My Sister's Keeper tonight. Heard it's a good 'cry-your-heart-out' movie...

The R word.

Is romance really overrated?

Is it weird that a girl like me hopes for simple, breathtaking, 'omg-I'm-going-to-cry' hopelessly sweet moments?

Maybe I should blame Hollywood for making me wish that real life would imitate art. And for planting stupid, fluffy ideas into my head.

When you've lost 'that look' you used to give me, I need something else to make me feel extra special.

Don't buy me expensive things. Don't write me a poem or compose me a song. Don't declare your undying love for me in public. Don't chase after me in an airport. And please, don't whisk me off in a private jet to an exotic island holiday getaway.

All I'm asking is for that 'tingly feeling' once in a while.

It's your fault for falling for a hopeless romantic.

My christmas gift list

Okay, I don't actually celebrate Christmas. But it doesn't hurt to dream! In no order of preference....(drumroll please):

• Chanel's quilted lambskin handbag. Is it weird that I want to lick this bag?

• Zeno Acne Clearing Device. I'm hoping this could be the answer to all my problems. Number of days gargantuan zit on chin has been sticking around now : FOUR. Sigh.

• 500 Days of Summer soundtrack. Watched the movie 100 times, bought a ciplak DVD, so it's only fair I have the original soundtrack.

(tried deleting the stupid low res image above but it just won't budge and i can't be arsed to start a new post all over again *&J&^%&*%((%)#)

• These insane-looking leopard print wedge ankle boots. They look eerily similar to the Topshop ones. I don't care if I don't get to wear them out, I'll do laundry in them if I have to.
  

• The Carrie Diaries, hardcover version. Pre-SATC, it dates back to Carrie's earlier relationships and how she began her career as a writer. The only setback would be that Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte aren't in it, I suppose. But it looks like an entertaining read. Plus, the cover's fab, dahling.
  
  
  

Merry Christmas everyone!

sloppy kisses. xxx

Lessons on marriage part 2

While watching tv...

Nenek (nonchalantly): Sakit tau.

Me : Sakit? Sakit apa??

Nenek : Inter - apa? Intercourse?

Me : .........................................................................................................

Nenek: Jangan tegangkan kaki.

Me (cringing and wishing the ground would swallow me up) : Huh???????

Nenek : Jangan tegangkan kaki. Nanti sakit tau. Biar..sikit..sikit...

Me : Oh. My. God. Really? Are we really having this conversation, nenek????

Nenek : (continues talking)...masa nenek dulu, lampu padam, malu. Datuk tanya, "Sakit ye Zam?" Pastu nenek ingat nasihat, jangan tegangkan kaki...

Me : I'M THIRSTY NAK PERGI AMBIK AIR! BYE NEK!!


Seriously, why do relatives think it's okay to talk to you about sex just because you're getting married? Why can't I just watch TV now without me having VISIONS of my grandparents doing the nasty? WHY WHY WHY?? Someone needs to tell them that it is NOT okay!!

I am officially scarred FOR LIFE.

Teka-teki.

Q: What is scarier than Linda Blair in The Exorcist?

A: A mother on the verge of Menopause.



AAACKKKKKKK!!!!!! LARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

To Maine..

For making me rethink my blog layout and setting it free from frills, flowers and...birds. This layout definitely seems more like me.

It just looks so clean now!

lipstick love

If it's one thing I rarely wear on my face, it's lipstick. I'm just one of those girls who thinks lipstick makes you look...overdone. So when I DO wear lipstick, I'd usually slap on the brightest colour I can find and keep everything else minimal (eyeliner is a must, however)...red lipstick:

...and some pinks...







Not sure if it's because the vampire craze has 'bitten' me (ha!) but I'm seriously contemplating on slathering dark, wine red lipstick over my pucker. Maybe even dark purple. There's something about the colour that makes the chick wearing it look like an over-the-top sexy, vampy siren who MIGHT just drink your blood. It gives you instant smouldering brownie points - double the score if you couple it with a bored, 'I-can't-be-arsed-really' expression.






Now begins the hunt for the perfect shade of wine red. God knows if I'll be able to pull it off, but I'm all for experimenting.


sloppy, soon-to-be-wine-red kisses!

p/s: Laura Mercier's mineral pressed powder has changed my life. I swear, it's like *pat pat* and you're out the door faster than you can say "foundation - wha?" Thought I'd spread the love.

Lessons on marriage

While watching tv..

Mama : When are you going to learn how to cook??

Me : I will ma...soon-ish...

Mama : You're going to get married forgodsakes! Mama risau tau (I'm worried)....

Me : *grumbling* I wiiiiiiilllllllllllllll learn!

Mama : MARRIAGE IS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX!!!!

Awkward silence

Me : *cough*

The perfect cake topper

I have always wanted one of those 'bride and groom' cake toppers ever since I can remember. And the fact that my side of the reception will be a western themed one gives me the perfect excuse to have one on my cake. I knew I wouldn't be able to find a really nice cake topper here, so I started looking online and came across some that were okay, and some that were blah. Weirdly enough, a lot of the bride and groom cake toppers look quite scary too. But when i laid eyes on this couple, it was love at first sight!




Yasir is one of the only Malay men I know who actually loves American football, so this fits him perfectly. And I love how they look like such a cute and fun couple! Also, I used to side-ponytail my hair a lot back when I was in Melbourne when it was longer. I did toy with the idea of a classic Bride and Groom (I especially adore the ones where the bride is in a vintage wedding dress) but this definitely seems more...us :). I imagine I'll be taking it out of its box 40 years from now when I'm old and wrinkly, blowing the dust off and gazing at it just to be transported right back to the day Yasir and I got married. :)


* Special shout out to Zara, for being the sweetest and bringing it all the way from Aberdeen, Scotland..that makes it even more special :)

C String is the new G String?

Found this and thought I should spread the..love. Just when you thought g-strings were skimpy enough...*click*

INTRODUCING THE C STRING! Ta-daaaah! Your ultimate solution to VPL!

Can you imagine someone actually wearing that out as swimwear? Dude, that looks like you've gone and dyed your pubic hair red and had it glazed or something. And what if you have to run to catch a bus forgodsakes? I suppose you shouldn't be doing any form of running when wearing one of these.

There must be some sort of magnet in there that is specially designed to stick to vaginas - that would be the only explanation for it to be able to stay put, wouldn't it? Or is it held in place by clenching? I wonder if your vagina needs to be 'strong' to be able for it to keep put...the blondie does look like she has a pretty fit vagina...

This thing fascinates me to death, I swear. You can actually buy this in your local blog shop..I'm tempted to get one just for experimental's sake. Can someone get this please and let us know how it works out? I would but I don't think I'd have a good explanation at hand for when it falls out of my skirt.

"So, tell me, what's been going on for the past nine years?"

That's what he said nonchalantly, while sipping Starbucks coffee. I wanted to laugh out loud.

Bull crap.

'Aainaa's 'Beautiful Bride' To Do List:

- Eat more veggies. This entails not picking off tomatoes in hamburgers/pizzas/hotdogs with fingers. Repeat like a mantra : Veggies are your friend. Veggies are your friend. Veggies are your friend.

- Drink more water. Nescafe is NOT water. Ice lemon tea may have more water than Nescafe.

- Schedule dermatologist appointment asap. Must get rid of EFFING 'Orang jahat dalam Drama Melayu' potholes.

- Pop Vitamin E and Follic Acid pills like they are candy. This is not an option if you want to get mama off your back.

- Rub Olive Oil in hair at least once a week for strands lost due to endless Maggi Mee lunches.

- Rub banana peel on face - Mar says this works, so do it!!

- STOP SNACKING ON JUNKFOOD FORGODSAKES.

- See eye specialist to avoid looking like a pirate in the wedding photos.

- Facials. At least once in two weeks. If financially challenged, rub in cleanser when washing face at home very verrrryyyyy slowly. Good enough.

- Invest in good skincare products. Neutrogena does not qualify as good skincare. STOP SPENDING ON CLOTHES SO YOU CAN AFFORD GOOD SKINCARE PRODUCTS. Remind self when tempted: It's not like you're going to wear toga lace dress or patent red high heels to wedding. If MUST buy lace toga dress or will die, suggest to fiance that maybe instead of the RayBan aviators he wants for his hantaran, he'll settle for the Topshop one instead....

- A month before the wedding, go for massages. Mandi bunga. STOP STRESSING. Ask Auntie Ezi for contact number of Mandi Bunga 'glowy-glowy' person.

- WAX.

- Lose weight (this wouldnt be a complete list without that thrown in).

One of them.

You know how during Hari Raya, your makciks or aunties that you have nothing in common with say only one thing to you after you salam them (and this routine will go on for years, possibly till you die): "DAH BESAR DAH DIA!!"

I now know where they're coming from. I feel the exact same way about my cats.

Timeless

Was searching for old music when I found this gem of a video. Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin singing the classics. I think I was meant to live in the '5os.

Contact lense.

You know you need a fresh pair of contact lenses when:

- You think our country's going through another bad haze, when it's actually not.

- People can't look at you when you talk because your eye twitching is distracting. Not to mention very, very creepy.

- Your vision is actually clearer when you take off your lenses. You may, for a few seconds think you now miraculously have 20/20 vision and get a little bit confused, but then you realise no, your contact lenses are just THAT bad.

- You cancel plans to go out because you'd rather stay at home and wear your nerdy specs. And you know going out with your specs on is not an option because it doesn't go with that new dress you want to wear. And you will NOT wear anything else other than that new dress, thankyouverymuch.

- EVERYONE knows you have a problem with your contact lenses.

- Everyone also knows that when you give the reason "Sorry. Eyes acting up. You know the drill." as an excuse not to go out, you are actually telling the truth.

- You keep on yawning when you're out just to keep your eyes lubricated. This is to avoid your contact lenses from rolling around in your eyeball and freaking everyone out, especially if they're violet coloured lenses.

- The sleazy guy sitting across from you in the restaurant winks BACK at you.

- You care more about having normal vision than having perfect makeup for your wedding day.

- People mistake you for a pirate.

So....

...what do you wear to meet your father whom you haven't seen in 10 years? Today's THE day. God speed.

8/11/09 update: I wore my high waisted smart-looking beige pants, peach top and cardigan. IN YOUR FACE THAT MAN!! I'M ALL GROWN UP AND SOPHISTICATED AND LOVELY NOW!!

The perfect song List 1

So, I've been searching for an epic love song for my slideshow during the reception. It's weird because I don't even have a photographer yet to take our pics, but am already thinking of background music. Oh well...I think the music for a wedding slideshow is the most important thing...you may have crappy pics but when you couple them with a love song which makes your heart skip a beat (you know, that song when the situation is always complicated and the hero realises he actually loves the girl and is chasing after her because she's about to leave the country...and then they meet in the middle of the street under the rain and they look at each other and realise they can't live without each other.. *cue music which makes you weep your eyes out*), the effect is all gooooood. I need suggestions. Please don't suggest My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion - I will spank you.

Okay, just to get you guys in the right frame of mind...imagine black and white photos where Yasir and I are frollicking in a meadow somewhere (god knows where we'll find this meadow but it MIGHT happen) and you can see sunset through the trees. I have really raw images in mind...nothing too fancy. I'll be wearing a romantic floaty, white maxi dress, of course *ahem*. Yasir will probably be forced to wear a casual white shirt. We're planning to take these pics after our akad, so we would legally be able to kiss, hold hands etc..what's the point of having a photo slideshow when there's no physical contact, right? Anyway, here's the list so far. Will be updating it from time to time. Feel free to click on the titles to have a listen on youtube:

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

The Special Two - Missy Higgins

In The Arms Of The Angel - Sarah Mclachlan

Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls (I know this song is about world peace..but it can also mean, despite the condition we're living in, we've found each other..and we'll have better days)

She Is Love - Parachute (This song is definitely a top 3 in the list!)

Like A Star - Corinne Bailey Rae (I know it's a bit overplayed, but the mood this song conveys is fantastic!)

Feels Like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk

The Apple Of My Eye , Light Catches Your Face - Bell X1 (haunting tunes. but romantic as well)

Angel - Robin Thicke (excuse the slightly raunchy vid)

I Can't Believe You're In Love With Me - Billie Holiday or Anita O 'Day's version or Ain't That A Kick In The Head - Dean Martin (loveee these timeless songs, too cute. I imagine very cute, happy pics coupled with this..they're a bit short though! I think I may use one of these for the akad slideshow.)

The Sweetest Love - Robin Thicke

Wedding Vows - Jamie Foxx (this song is soooo sweet..*sniff* nikah slideshow perhaps? Ignore the '5 years' thing btw ha ha)

Let's Stay Together - Al Green

Who Am I To Say - Hope

This Year's Love - David Gray


Okay, that's it for now...funny how when you need to find romantic songs, you can't seem to think of any. Any suggestions would help!

sloppy kisses!

In class

Me: Bill, what's this?

(I show him a flashcard)

Bill: I know teacher..crab!!!

Me: Very good! And how do you spell crab?

Bill: C-R-A-P!!!

Me: Oh crap.

At a crossroads

Shoes or wedding? Shoes or wedding? Shoes or wedding??

This is going to be harder than I thought :(

The Ring.

I love my engagement ring. I could be saying this because I'm a little bit biased, or because Yasir might be reading this (kidding), but I love it. It's not huge, it's not small...it's perfect. And all the drilling about wanting a ring with a little bit of 'vintage' detailing paid off. We spent months scouring the shops for a setting which wasn't plain (it's really really hard to find a setting which has some kind of detail here in Malaysia..most of the bands are clean and simple), so when Yasir presented me with The Ring - he picked it out himself, I had nothing to do with it - I was a happy camper. And now on to some blurry pics:.

What can I say? My man has good taste - in all sense of the word ;) Ha Ha.

Sloppy kisses.

How I spent my Monday morning

Me: Hello Mr. Kang. How are you?

Mr Kang: I'm fine thanks. And you?

Me: I'm okay, thanks.

Half an hour later..

Me: Hello Mr. Kang. How are you?

Mr Kang: I'm fine thanks. And you?

Me: I'm okay, thanks.


(repeat x100000)

*yawn*

The girl gets hitched?

Yes, you read right, there's no need to adjust your computer screens - I, 'Aainaa Y, am getting married next year. Insyaallah (I have now developed the habit of saying Insyaallah after I say anything which is remotely related to me getting hitched..I'm all for believing in things getting jinxed). Anyway, if everything goes according to plan, I'll be someone's wife (or to be more specific - Yasir's wife) on the 17th of July 2010. INSYAALLAH.

So if you hate weddings and can't be arsed about love and committing to each other for the rest of your lives, then you may find my next few posts to be yawn-worthy. I apologise in advance. Anyway, the dilemma right now is to pin my biological father (of whom I have not seen since I was 16 - that was ten years ago) and get him to sign some papers so he can bugger off and let someone else give me away. Anyone. It could be some random stranger walking by my house, for all I care. Or the dude who comes to potong our rumput every week. Or the mailman. Before some of you wag your tongues and go, "Tsk tsk, he is your father in the end, you know" -this is when I say.. SERIOUSLY, GET REAL. He is my father, yes, unfortunately I share part of his DNA..sometimes all I have to do is look at my sister's face and see him (kakak sorry, but you do look like That Man no matter what you say! I know, it's painful)...but really, when you think about it..he really ISN'T my father at all. And what makes me say this? Let's see...ahem, if you would ever so kindly refer to my research findings below:

A REAL FATHER...
Sees you regularly after a messy divorce. ESPECIALLY one which involves him running off with some woman who he had an affair with for two years. This will entail the guilt speech (which he will be saying while down on his knees so he is at eye level with you, tears glistening in his eyes) : "Although your mom and I are going through this tough time, my love for both of you will never, ever change. You will always be my daughters, no matter what. I am always here for you. Now, what say we go shopping and I buy you whatever your little heart desires?" He knows he has to win his two little daughters' hearts - they are badly broken, knowing their family is falling apart...so he persists. He calls, he takes them out, he knows he has done massive damage and that he isn't exactly Father of The Year, realises this and tries his absolute best to make things alright between his children and him. Even if this includes him dressing up as a transvestite nanny and speaking in a high pitched voice just to be close to his kids.

VS

THAT MAN...
A few outings after the divorce..countable with one hand. Missed birthdays. Birthdays forgotten entirely. No phone calls. "You've been brainwashed." was one of the things I fondly remember him saying about my mother, days after the divorce. I was too young to understand what that meant then. But funnily enough I remember him saying that. And I wasn't brainwashed daddy, I might have been a ten-year-old kid but i was there when you told my mother you weren't in love with her. Forgive me if I was a little reserved towards you after, but how do you expect a daughter to react to the news that her father was breaking the family apart because of some woman? Really, did you think I was going to warm up to you instantly? Did you even try to win me over? A few outings and you think things will be alright between you and me? When you tell people your children don't contact you and that we're in the wrong, daddy dearest, look in the mirror. You were never there. Period.


2) A REAL FATHER...
Pays for his children's education.

VS

THAT MAN...
Who my mother had to fight in court just to get him to pay his share. There were times I had to testify in court too, just to tell the judge how my mother was struggling to support my sister and I. Then there was the time you refused to pay for a computer and spectacles which we badly needed. And when he wouldn't pay a single cent for my studies in Australia. Oh, the list goes on, really.

3) A REAL FATHER...
Would be overjoyed his two daughters were getting married. Simple.

VS

THAT MAN...
Angry, possibly, because he knows that this means we will have to see him. According to my mom's best friend's husband, he didn't exactly say nice things when he found out. But I know he is smug because now he thinks we need him. In a way, yes, we need him to sign some papers saying he won't be our wali and be done with it. Simple.

Oh I could go on and on, but I really don't have the energy. Kakak called him up and he actually mimicked her voice (i KNOW, what are we? ten??) on the phone. We were supposed to meet him yesterday, but he replied on the same day itself "Can't do saturday. Schedule too tight."

Oh well. Will update when we actually face the fire-breathing dragon. Should be interesting...I've got my suit of armour ready when I need it.

sloppy kisses.