breather.

The past month has been one stressful, hectic blur - hence the lack of updates. My last day at Bluinc saw me frantically tearing out my hair and trying my best to complete my job bags at 12am, while at the same time clearing out my desk (thanks to good ol' Yasir, this entailed stuffing whatever I had into paperbags in record time). Thank god I didn't have THAT much junk accumulated throughout the year I was at Bluinc. The defining moment was leaving behind my office tag (it doesn't help that the picture of me on my tag is probably the ONLY decent looking passport photo I've ever taken in my life) and taking one last look at my now-empty desk; the place I had spent endless hours typing away about home recipes for limp hair, whiter teeth, cellulite or "Lace For Day" and "Three Ways To Wear That T-shirt Dress!". It felt surreal that I was leaving that world, the glossy pages of a magazine, and stepping into an entirely different, 'closer to reality' job.

I'm entirely grateful that today is a Public Holiday - at least this gives me 3 days to recuperate. The other day, I had to sit in on some classes at the Language Centre and observe the teachers and the students, y'know, just to get a feel of it. I sat in on a kids class, and was overwhelmed by the boundless energy they had, the questions they would ask (which mostly had nothing to do with the lesson - they were reading a story about how a man who lives on an island needed to find ways to earn money because he owes the Electricity company 1,000 pounds - after reading, this 9-year-old boy in class asks, with a serious look on his face as if he was asking the president a crisis question, "Teacher, if he lives on an island, how does he go shopping?!") Ahhh, kids. And apparently one girl in that particular class cries every 15 minutes, but because I was there, she held back her tears, god bless her little soul.

Oh by the way, Selamat Hari Merdeka. We may not be feeling patriotic because we're nowhere near '1 Malaysia', but when you have grandparents who tell you about how they suffered during the Japanese occupation from having to run and hide, terrified of being found and tortured to death, or how they lost a brother who was shot dead defending the country, you do start to count your little blessings and appreciate those that have perished just so we could call this country our own.

sloppy kisses.

It's been a while...

Haven't written lately because I'm just so darn out of it. Not sure out of what exactly, but I'm thinking it may be...life. I need a holiday, time to reflect on my life and everything that surrounds it, fills it and shapes it. I don't think this has anything to do with the fact that I just turned 26 (or does it?). I just need some 'me' time. I'm sure everyone feels like they need 'me' time too; but this is my blog and I'll rant about me. I've heard of this crisis that hits twenty-somethings. Usually, when you approach your mid-twenties, you feel lost, unsure if what you're doing is what you should be doing, and whether you should still continue doing it. You're still battling your career choices. Most of my close girlfriends aren't totally happy with the job they're in right now...and yes, we're all the same age. The fact that I've chosen a different career path is because I'm still weighing out my options, and I feel like I need to do something that is emotionally rewarding, if you will - and teaching fits the bill perfectly. If I had it my way, I would say my dream job would be to work with animals. But I can't bear seeing sick animals, so I'd have to work in a place where all the animals are healthy and happy. How does one go about becoming an animal trainer, I wonder? I would also love to travel...to see different cultures; experience them, smell them and eat them. I want to go to the commercial places like New York, Paris, Italy and Japan first...then I'll travel to remote islands. I don't really do jungles, but Africa is a dream too. My grandfather has always wanted me to be an English Professor. If I do decide to stay in the teaching line, that title sounds pretty darn appealing to me! I'd like to do my Masters, one step at a time first, then we'll see about getting a PhD. I suppose I'll need to brush up on my spelling and grammar, of course. Ha ha. I've always loved writing, I knew the minute I could put pen to paper, that I was a writer - I would write my own children stories when I was as little as four-years-old. The Peter and Jane series and Enid Blyton books inspired me then. I don't think I'll ever give up writing; if not I would die - how else am I going to express myself? I guess that's what this blog is for, I'd make up imaginary readers and pretend I was talking to them. Even if no one ever reads this.

From time to time, I'd ask myself - what is it that I really want? And the answer is... I haven't figured that out yet. In a way, that's the beauty of life; it gives you that challenge to keep on searching for what it is that will really fulfill you...and although at times you feel like you want to give up searching for it and you are willing to be stuck in that rut, you must never give up. Take risks, plunge into the unknown...change your job a 100 times if you must. Never, ever give up. If you have to stay in a safe job because of the money and you have responsibilities, go ahead, but dwell on things that bring out the real you. Take dance lessons if you love to dance, or audition for plays if you love acting, sell cakes if you love to bake. Life is too short to waste it away doing something you hate dragging yourself out of bed for.

the unthinkable

Yesterday, I tendered in my resignation as the Beauty and Fashion Writer of female magazine. The old 'Aainaa, a year ago, would think me to be utterly insane and out of my mind. And maybe I am, just a little bit. But this 'Aainaa, while scared of what's going to happen, is thankful that she has experienced what she's always wanted to do since she was little, which was to write, and is now eager to move on and try different things.

It's definitely a giant leap to go from writing in a women's magazine about makeup and fashion, to standing in front of a class and teaching English. But if ever there was a leap of faith, this is definitely it.

I'm a Kak, hear me roar!!!

In slightly more than a week from now, I'll be 26. I guess I'll only freak out when I hit 40. For now, I'm cool being almost 26. What's interesting though, is that salespeople tend to call me "kak" now. Somehow within the past 1 year, I've graduated from a "dik" to a kak. This is a little bit depressing when I think about it, because obviously, I look older than I used to. Must start using anti-ageing. Anyway, everytime someone calls me Kak, I fight the urge to turn around and look behind me. I'm so used to people thinking I'm still studying, possibly in my early twenties. In Melbourne, someone actually thought I was fifteen. No joke. Of course at the time she was trying to sell something and me looking fifteen is complete utter bullshit, but I was pretty pleased.

Today, while I was out loaning, I think a total of 3 people called me "Kak". Honestly, i'm having mixed feelings to this newfound status. On one hand, I'm glad salespeople take me seriously now and think I have money to buy that Tiffany & Co necklace I'm drooling over in the glass display(even when I don't), but on the other hand, reality is hitting me hard in the ass and I realise by the beard of Zeus, I AM older than most salespeople now! I'm going to be in my Mid-twenties! It's like how Angelina Jolie was the hottest thing in Hollywood then, but now she's just.....old. Okay, maybe not such a good example, but you know what I mean.

So I vow to myself, as I turn 26 and hit my mid-twenties, that I will accept my newfound 'Kak' status with grace. Next time a salesgirl calls me Kak, I'm going to let it wash over me and embrace it. I, 'Aainaa, am officially a Kak, and proud of it. If I'm feeling especially 'Kak'-ish, I'll call the salesperson "Dik" too, might be fun.

If anything, it could be worse - at least I'm not a 'Makcik' yet. Now THAT'S a whole different story.

Pink.

Past week in a nutshell:

Datuk's 83rd birthday, rushed to buy cake (Chocolate indulgence mmmm) from Secret Recipe. Had a kecoh celebration at the house, ate a lot. Went to work the next day on a Sunday because of 50 Gorgeous shoot. Helped a guy put on contact lense for more than half-an-hour but didn't end up wearing coloured lenses in the end. Ran around like a headless chicken trying to pick outfits for the talents to wear and check on makeup and hair. Had a conversation with a model on how birth control pills made her boobs go two sizes up. Contemplated. Saw boobies. Contemplated again. Rushed back to the house after work, stuffed some clothes in paperbags and got into Yasir's car. Went to Shuq and Sharina's house. Shot video clip (not going to elaborate further, but it's not what you think), had satay. Slept on the way home, think I snored a little. Very tired. Monday morning picked Diyana up looking like a zombie, brought her to the office for Make Me Over shoot. Met Shu Uemura makeup artist, called Shirley from Shu Uemura to clarify the looks for October. Decided on the latest Fall collection - one colourful look, one nude bronze. Had my makeup done. Shot my Beauty Picks. Grumbled about looking fat. Return loans at Mid Valley. Returned and picked up loans from Pavilion. Butted heads with stupid NOSE store manager who was bloody rude and kept on huffing and puffing, felt like smacking her head BAIK PUNYER. Vowed to never loan from NOSE again. E-mailed PR person for NOSE and filed a complaint about bitch of a manager. Contemplated career. Shot out e-mails, e-mails, emails about loaning. Loans again. Got about two articles done. Product shoot. 50 gorgeous shoot again, another round of running around like a headless chicken. Freaked out about the amount of job bags not done. Shot out e-mails again for OBSESSIONS article, where the heck am i going to find nice travel bags?? Made a hundred thousand phone calls. Today, went to bangsar to return loans at Cats Whiskers, tea & Sympathy. Realised gossips loans are not in the car. FUCK. Made mental note to go to bangsar again tomorrow. Finally had Making Cookies Baskin Robbins ice cream. Sickly sweet, ugh. At yasir's office as we speak, replying work e-mails on a Saturday. Tried to change blog template to the one downloaded off another sight. Gave up and switched to boring pink template.

Tired.

hamming it up for the camera

Beauty Picks page, female's July issue. Taisu from Shu Uemura did my makeup - he's really good. The look was kept very natural and light. It's the body issue, so they put almost my whole body on the page, to go with the theme and the bodycare products I picked.

This shoot was for October's Beauty Picks and we used Shu Uemura again. The makeup artist, Anges, used this really cool turqouise gel eyeliner on my lids (click on the pic to zoom in on the eye makeup) which will be out around October too. Theme is sorta like....beach holiday easy breezy........hence the bikini and island printed dress. This pic will be cropped though to just come up to my chest.

The first time I had to take a photo for female magazine, man, I was really stiff. And my makeup was pretty horrible too. Think I've learned to loosen up a bit though, thank god. I suppose having a fan blowing in your face helps a bit. Haha. But it majorly sucks that the camera DOES put on ten friggin pounds. Now I know why models have to be stick thin!

Alright, I'm off to bed, night!

crybaby

As I'm writing this, I'm wiping away just a wee tiny tear (okay, maybe not soo tiny) from having watch a mother give birth on the Discovery Home and Health channel (733 for those of you who are clueless). Man, I'm such a sucker. What is it with me and feeling overwhelmed witnessing the moment a mother holds her newborn baby in her arms? I swear, I get choked up every single time. Even that friends episode where Rachel held her baby, I could feel this weird feeling in my chest! I suppose I get emotional, imagining what it must feel like to finally meet this creature that has been kicking around in your stomach for the past 9 months, knowing that you're solely responsible for this tiny little being's life from now on. The feeling must be too overwhelming and big for words, something you've never felt, or even come close to feeling before. Only at that very moment as you're holding your newborn baby, all sweaty and achy from pushing can you experience what other mothers have gone through...all the pain just melts away for an instant when you cradle YOUR baby in the nook of your arm and come to terms that you are indeed, now a mother. Wow, imagine what that must feel like...

Some people find it weird that I have such strong maternal instincts, considering that I have the tendency to look like your typical 'party girl'. Maybe one day, I might show my kids my 'party girl' pics and they might think their naggy and saggy ol' mom was quite hip back in the day and actually listen to me when I tell them they don't have to smoke or drink to have fun. I've got my line memorised down pat: "Tengok mama dulu, I didn't have to drink or smoke even if everyone around me was doing it! Mama tahu, your friends will be pressuring you to drink. You really don't have to give into peer pressure, people will respect your principles if you are adamant on standing by them!" Then this is when I give them the best advice "Besides, why spend money on alcohol and ciggs when you can shop, betul tak?? Common sense!"

sloppy kisses.

p/s: The boy on the Discovery Learning Channel promo on Astro (the one where it's a montage of kids - mostly girls from CBN for some strange reason) who says something about wanting to build a big house so his mother and father can live in it gets me...every. single. friggin. time. Sniff. Must be that time of the month again.

It's Aainaa, bitch

Sometimes I wonder why I have to keep other people's best interest at heart when they don't really bother about MY best interest? Wait, does 'best interest' mean 'jaga hati' in English? Hmmm. I may be talking about something different entirely. Whatever, all I know is, a lot of the times I feel like I should go all crazy and just be a total bitch, like how other people can just go all crazy and be total bitches. But no, because I don't want to hurt other people, I've decided to stay completely sane instead. Am I really too nice? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

p/s: Sorry about all the random, short posts. In an effort to update my blog in the midst of all the craziness, these short bursts will have to do for now. Better than nothing, right?

Chillin'

Four of my cats hanging out outside, as usual. Sorta looks like a boyband pic - you know, where the dudes are all just standing about trying to look cool. Our latest addition to the family, Mojo, is not photographed here. And Itit too. Oh well.

Random recent pic taken at Envie (a club which ACTUALLY plays RnB! Wow!) because I'm just being random.

Back to writing about hair!

Sloppy kissies.

tired.

i'm too tired to even think of a decent title to this blog post. I'm just.....tired. Fashion = tiring. Someone once asked me if I had a choice, would I stick to beauty or convert entirely to fashion? I have no idea. I like fashion, but it takes up too much time and energy. Gah. GAH! It's different if you work in Vogue and the fashion brands come to YOU. Okay, my fingers are tired from writing...was out loaning the whole day, carrying shopping bags.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Keep it simple, stupid

I was attracted to the opposite sex for the first time when I was two-years-old.

No, I don't think I'm exaggerating (or maybe I was two going on three? hmm), believe it or not - I remember having the hugest crush EVER on the son of this lady named Mrs. Burhan, who owned the nursery my parents used to send me to. In fact, I still remember his name, Najib. He was this yummy-looking boy with dark, curly hair and piercing eyes which penetrated the depths of my then two-year-old soul to the very core. Najib was my sister's age; two years older than I was and I felt inadequate and immature next to him. I mean, he was practically a man wasn't he? Everytime he passed by I would hide my milk bottle under my pillow (the nursery would let us lie down and suck on a bottle from time to time for feeding time). We used to watch cartoons together too, sometimes he would smile at me, but he never really fully acknowledged my existance. Whatever. I knew I had bigger fish to fry.

Then when I was four, I had my first 'sorta' boyfriend. My mom's best friend's son, Faizal. He was my age, so we were compatible, of course. I mean, we were on the same wavelength! Although come to think of it, I don't think we said anything to each other much. It was like a 'silent connection' sort of thing, you know? I was staying near the beach in Johor Bahru then and we used to go dating under some trees, while my mom and her bestfriend watched us, from like, 1 metre away. I saved my prettiest dresses for those 'dating under the tree' ocassions and giggled a lot. I think he even tried to hold my hand once. We went our seperate ways soon after, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Thank god, because last I heard, he's married with kids.

Ahh, kindergarten. This was the time when hormones raged and the opposite sex filled my mind 24/7 in between colouring and spelling lessons. Thoughts like 'Did he notice that I put a nice ribbon in my hair today?' and 'Why is he playing swings with that hussy?!' ran through my mind ocassionally when I was interested in someone in particular. Besides having to flush my packed-from-home lunchtime sandwiches down the toilet bowl on a daily basis, I had to deal with how I acted around 5-year-old boys. Life was tough, but I enjoyed every second. Especially when my crush used to follow me around the classroom and mimic every single thing I did. I used to just giggle and snort uncontrollably. I guess giggling was the only thing I used to do back then in front of a boy. Sure, we could have talked about other stuff, like how I thought my mom's strawberry jam sandwhiches were yucky or if he prefered the Orange Cod Liver Oil to the white one (orange!) or which pony in My Little Pony was the prettiest (Lickety Split, duh). But I stuck to giggling coyly. I was a flirty little thing back then, me.

High school was the toughest. I was painfully, painfully shy around boys. These were the years where I had yet to discover contact lenses so I had to wear glasses, yet was too vain to wear glasses so I would bump into things a lot, or ignore someone completely because I couldn't see that person, even if he or she was shouting my name and everyone would stop and stare but I would scuffle away hurriedly and act like I didn't hear anything. Going to an all-girls school made it worse. Boys were like alien creatures to me. I envied the girls in the bus who unbuttoned their baju kurungs and laughed with the boys at the back while I read my Sweet Valley books and kept my legs shut tightly just in case the boys could see anything up my pinafore skirt. Despite all this, I had my first boyfriend then. But it was more of a relationship over the phone, really. At least he used to buy me Famous Amos cookies and Big Macs and place them outside my gate, which was nice.

It was so simple and sweet back then. Then came the phases in my life involving the opposite sex where it gradually got complicated, intense and even more complicated at times, with my fair share of "omg what was I thinking? ugh!" experiences and moments. But at least after all the mumbo jumbo, ups and downs and "it's complicated" relationship statuses on Friendster and Myspace, you learn to appreciate a 'simple and sweet' relationship more when you actually find it again, don't you? And nothing feels better than when you finally get to click the 'In a relationship' button on facebook, hands down. :)

This is a happy post # god knows

I find myself extremely busy lately and haven't really had time to "stop and smell the roses". So these are the (some may find petty) things that make me happy:

- Skater doing his 'motorboat' purr just by me being near him

- Good cereal on the table in the morning (none of that dry, wheat-y stuff please)

- Room service when I'm staying at a hotel

- Karaoke nights. Must-warble songs: Killing me softly, Never find someone like you, Sexy love.

- Beating Dickie (my sister's annoying boyfriend) on Guitar Hero Medium EVERY SINGLE TIME! HAH!

- Maine deleting PP's text msg folder on her phone. This makes me VERY happy, actually

- Yasir helping me with my fashion loan returns. It's a lot of paper bagssssss

- Finally buying a fresh Clinique Superpowder Double Powder compact. Was scraping the bottom of the barrel (did i spell that right?) with the old one. I swear, the stuff lasts for years!

- Getting a blowdry at the salon and not having it rain the moment I step out (thank you God!)

- FINALLY having the time to update my blog.

Sloppy kisses!

Fate

Just half an hour ago, Yasir and I put a kitten to sleep.

I saw the tiny little kitten yesterday, when I was about to drop Yasir off at his office. I won't go into details about what I saw exactly (it involved a motorcycle and the kitten bleeding), but let's just say I was hysterical, clinging on to Yasir's shirt, crying. I felt helpless, I didn't know what to do so I resorted to praying hard to God to keep that kitten safe, or put it out of its misery, so it wouldn't have to suffer. The whole day while I was out, the image of what I saw flashed through my mind every few minutes. I prayed and prayed it wasn't suffering, that it was at peace. I don't think I've prayed for anything as hard in my life. This morning, when Yasir called me and told me the kitten wasn't anywhere to be found, I felt restless. What if it was wondering around, hurt? A part of me wanted to make up this whole scenario where the kitten was barely scratched and a kind passerby had picked it up, with the intention of giving it a new home. Another part knew it was too good to be true.

A few hours ago, as I was driving home from work, I had my night planned out - dinner at home, veg out on the couch for some much needed lazing-around time while I watched back-to-back comedy on StarWorld. Suddenly, Yasir called, and he told me he was hungry. So I changed my plans and decided to pick him up so we could get some food. Then we drove to KFC, and the place looked quite full, so Yasir suggested we pack up the chicken and eat at his office instead. I agreed.

The second we reached Yasir's office and were pulling up into the driveway, a tiny figure crossed right in front of my car. It was the kitten. Naturally, I panicked. I went out of the car, scared to go near it, afraid of what I would see. But I went to it anyway. Its nose was caked with blood, one eye gone, but it was walking around, meowing loudly. My heart crumbled to pieces. It obviously had been hit, and it looked like it was in pain. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't even imagine leaving it there - that wasn't even an option. It meowed loudly at my feet, so i tried feeding it some of Yasir's KFC...but it wouldn't go near it. Finally, Yasir grabbed a box and I put the kitten in, and we drove off to the nearest animal hospital.

At the hospital, the vet said she wanted to conduct all sorts of tests on the kitten. X-Rays,Blood tests etc...and I knew that it could all lead up to a lot of money. I had previously brought Skater there to do different tests, and it came up to almost RM600. I knew I couldn't afford it. But I wanted desperately to save the kitten. I agreed to pay the deposit of RM350 so they could carry out the tests, but I didn't have money on me, so I handed my debit card. The nurse swiped it a few times. Declined. Swiped it again. Declined. So Yasir and I told her we were going to find the nearest ATM to withdraw money. Although I had made the initial decision to put the kitten through the tests, something didn't quite feel right. I blurted out to Yasir, "If you think putting it to sleep is the best thing to do, just please, please, make this decision for me. You do it," I cried, tears streaming down my face. It broke my heart, and a heavy feeling rested on my chest. We sat in the car, trying to make the hardest decision we've ever made together so far, as a couple.We had a lot to ponder about - what if we gave the green light to conduct all these tests, but in the end they find that the kitten just cannot be saved, due to extensive internal injury? It's happened to me countless of times. I've brought a cat to the vet, spent a bomb, and in the end it still passed away. At that exact same hospital.

But then another feeling took over me as I realised that maybe God was trying to answer my prayers. Why did I decide to have dinner with Yasir at the very last minute, when in fact I was set on resting at home, because I was tired? Was it a coincidence that Yasir and I decided not to eat at KFC, but bring it back to his office? And if it weren't for us deciding to go back to Yasir's office, the kitten might have never crossed in front of us, at the exact same moment we were pulling up into the office driveway. Previously, during the day, Yasir went searching for the kitten, but couldn't find it anywhere. And it so happens that tonight, it came back. I know you may be thinking, I'm trying to make myself feel better, maybe I am, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. And maybe, just maybe, I was there, at the right time, at the right moment.

In the end, we decided to put it to sleep. It had suffered enough, and the best thing seemed to let it pass away peacefully. To put it through endless tests seemed like an even cruel thing to do, and I knew I had to be realistic - I couldn't afford it. So with a heavy heart, Yasir trudged into the animal hospital as I sat in the car, staring off into space. I couldn't bear to set foot in that place then. After what seemed like an eternity later, Yasir came back to the car. I cried. Yasir hugged me and kissed my forehead.

I remember the nurse asking me the kitten's name when I first brought it in. I didn't know then if it would be appropriate to name the kitten, I didn't even know if it was Male or Female, but the first name that ran through my mind was...Fate.

Sleep peacefully Fate...may you be running around, carefree, your spirit free and far from all the suffering you had to endure. May you never have to feel pain and be alone again.

Just for the record..

I feel like I need to clear some things up. This has to do with how I approach my relationships. While it may come as a shock to some people, but I, 'Aainaa never....

• Tell my boyfriend he CANNOT wear something. He can wear the same thing three days in a row for all I care, as long as he doesn't stink to high heavens. I may make suggestions on what looks good and what doesn't, but isn't that what girlfriends are for? I ask my boyfriend if something looks good/crap on me, so it should work both ways, shouldn't it?
• Not let him hang out with his friends. Hanging out is good. I would never, ever forbid him from seeing his friends. Sure, there will be an ocassion where his friends will ask him to hang out, but then it's my sister's birthday and my mom wants to bring us all to dinner - so it would be nice if he came with the family because my mom especially, would like him to be there. I don't think I'm worthy enough to be thought as a control freak if I asked him to be there, would I?
• Try to change him into something he isn't. If before we got together, he was a drinker and he smoked, I wouldn't give him an ultimatum and tell him to quit cold turkey. In fact, I know some girlfriends might force their boyfriend to quit drinking and smoking (which, if you think about it, isn't even a BAD THING). I would encourage my boyfriend to quit drinking if we were to get married, for our children's sake though. Is there really anything wrong with that?
• Force him to spend time with me. If he's with me every waking moment, it's because he WANTS to be with me. Believe it or not, I didn't point a gun to his head.
• Pay for all my meals, clothes etc I certainly don't expect him to pay for food all the time, let alone for my shopping. Only when he offers to pay do I let him. Other than that, I'm happy to take out my wallet and pay my fair share, no questions asked.
• Want to interrupt on 'guy time'. If my boyfriend is meeting the boys and wants me to come along, I'd usually ask if it's meant to be an all boys night. I would never, ever force my boyfriend to bring me when he's meeting his guy friends. I usually tag along because he says it's perfectly fine and he wants me to be there.

That's about it for now. I'm just a little sick with people assuming what type of girlfriend I am. Truthfully, I should be immuned to it by now, because I'm used to people taking one look at me and summing up my personality in 3 seconds. Really, I'm not a bad person, and I KNOW I'm not a bad girlfriend. So don't do the shallow thing most people do and jump to conclusions - it's very degrading.

This is me letting off a bit of steam. Next post might be happier.

Shout out to my man for this past week

...because you surprised me with a kitten which you picked up at the mamak (who is now named Cashmere 'del ohos locos' Kapoor - we just call him Cash), driving Skeet, me and Cash to the vet on Sunday, bringing your PS3 and Guitar Hero to the house because you knew how much I wanted to play and connecting it to the tv then disconnecting it again because I want to watch Astro, going with me to the salon as usual to get my ritual done, driving me to do a COD for the billionth time, eating Dunkin Doughnuts crossaints with me at a random Petronas station for dinner, letting me drive your car while you drove mine because my Waja's radio doesn't work, secretly filling up my gas tank on the way to my house because it was on E, telling me I look beautiful EVERY SINGLE DAY even when I don't, helping me look for Skeet after work because I panicked when he didn't come home (but he did in the end! :D), burning a CD for me because you know all the CDs in the Waja are boring the hell outta me, just putting up with my crazy (and sometimes moody) randomness.

It may sound corny, but baby you rock my world ;)

Here's to my mom

Mother's Day is coming up. So this post is dedicated to my mom:

Mama, thanks for...

- forcing me to take our Cod's Liver Oil and vitamins in the morning before I went off to school. I hated how it tasted, but I know it's because you want me to grow up healthy and strong.

- putting a cold towel on my forehead when I fell sick and had a burning fever. You would wake up countless times in the middle of the night just to check my temperature, rinse the towel with water again and put it back on my forehead.

- organising birthday parties for me, taking the time and energy to prepare food and snacks for my friends. I still remember that Birthday Pool Party I had...you suggested it, and we all had a blast. One of the birthdays I will never, ever forget.

- staying strong in front of kakak and me when That Man left us. We never saw you emotional and you got back up on your own two feet because you knew you had to, for kakak and my sake. You worked three jobs, day and night just to support us and put food on the table.

- fetching and sending kakak and me to school, from school, to tuition, from tuition, to UiTM, from UiTM...

- always being the first to break the ice after we have our arguments. They say a mother's love is unconditional, and I know that that's the absolute truth.

- letting me go to Melbourne to further my studies. You knew it was going to be tough to help pay for my fees, but because you saw how much it meant to me, you let me go in the end, despite all odds and having to sell off a car.

- still putting breakfast on the table every morning when I wake up. And the packed lunches you leave on the table for me to take to work!

- wanting to be involved in my personal life. Asking questions about the guy I'm dating, always wanting the best for me and giving me advice. I know you're scared I'll go down the same road you did when it came to men, but you have to trust I'll make the right decisions in the end.


Mama, even though I'm no longer your little daughter, know I've learned a lot from a strong, phenomenal woman like you. While we do have our differences, I will always have you up there on a pedestal, and you are one of the strongest women I know or will ever know. I am proud to have a mother like you.

Happy Mother's Day ma. I love you.

With love always,
Your daughter `Aainaa

Life update

It's been ages.

Past two weeks in a nutshell:

Came down with a fever. Throat hurt like fuck, especially at night, causing tossing and turning, resulting in lack of sleep and dark under eye circles. Looked like hell on a bad day. Missed 2 days of work. Body started aching like mad, as if had been working ass of at the gym when in fact, am at home, SLEEPING and COUGHING ass off. Felt a bit paranoid about the Swine flu (touch wood) but boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Lost appetite, hoping it would lead to weight loss, but appetite came back with a VENGEANCE. Realised Dots is getting fat, but that's because he eats ten times a day.Came back to work with a shitload of stuff to do, still a bit sick but rushing here and there. Advertorials, advertorials, advertorials. Best friend came down from Singapore, managed to squeeze in a chilling out session at Luna Bar. Made a group decision never to go there again because cover charge is 50 frikking bucks and you have to pay 70 bucks just to cut a birthday cake. Right. No wonder no one ever goes there anymore. Decided that pounding glass walls due to loud music is a bit scary anyway (Maine will know what I'm talking about). Went karaoke with the colleagues and finished session with The Cheeky Girls Song. Super fun.Contemplated life, turning 26 years old. Told boyfriend that I'm getting old and still haven't swam with dolphins, which is a bit depressing. Went to pet store in GE Mall and checked out the fat cats. Not a fan of fish, but marvelled at the different colours of fish they had. Watched Wolverine and drooled over Ryan Reynolds, before he turned into scary mutant with mouth sewn shut. Upset that Ryan's part in the movie was way too short. Had massive fight with boyfriend. Slept in the TV room for 3 nights because airconditioning in room is crap. Made up with boyfriend by playing Gutar Hero together. Beat Slash in the challenge on a first try. I AM A ROCK GOD. Finally finished July articles, starting on August. Guitar Hero night again tonight - Maine and maybe Dina coming over. Will kick ass at Guitar Hero. ROCK ON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Sloppy kisses!

Here, kitty kitty!

I've developed this new habit which people around me might find a little creepy. I stare at every cat that crosses my path and suss out whether or not I should kidnap it. Obviously I'm not about to go and steal someone else's cat, so don't worry, I'm not THAT cuckoo. These past few weeks, I've been on the hunt for a stray kitten (preferably not adult cat, as to avoid it from butting heads with my other cats too much) who is seeking unconditional love and a new home. I suppose my sister and I are so used to having a lot of cats, that our home feels a little bare with only It (a kitten that appeared out of nowhere - who is now FULLY GROWN,FAT and definitely not a kitten anymore ) Dots, Rini and Skater, also known as Skeet. Skeet was a rescue kitten too - I was driving home from work one night and thanks to my 'Feline senses', I spotted him in the middle of the road, this teeny tiny little thing, barely casting a shadow. What followed happened in barely 2 seconds - screeched to a halt by the side of the road, jumped out of my car barefoot, ran to him before he could register what was happening and took off with him on my lap. The poor thing was shivering (I couldn't decide whether from fear or cold - but I think it was the former) and I fed him Friskies when we reached home, watching him barely chewing but gulping down everything in sight. And after giving him his shots and other whatnots, I'm happy to report that he's fitting in quite nicely (although Dots finds his playful kitten banter annoying from time to time and Itit has this tendency to slap him if he gets in the way and Rini had jealousy issues in the beginning, but despite all that I think they've definitely warmed up). To this day, I feel lucky to have been in the right place at the right time :)

Back to the topic of extending my feline familia - I didn't know my sister was thinking the same thing, only till a few nights ago when we were watching American Idol and she randomly sighed, "We need a kitten..." did I realise we both missed having cats swarming around us, running about in the house, practically making us trip everytime we called them for feeding time. I laughed and told her my story of wanting to kidnap every kitten which crossed my path. Then a few minutes later when I was saying goodbye to Yasir at the door, we heard a soft meow - unmistakeably a kitten's - and we saw a tiny black and white kitten outside my gate. I was ecstatic thinking god must have heard my prayers and this kitten was a gift from Cat Heaven. So I tried tiptoeing to it slowly...but it ran, scared, into a deep drain. Shit. I tried using cat food as bait, but it wouldn't come out from hiding. When Yasir left, I ran back into the house and woke my sleeping sister up to tell her about the kitten, and despite her grogginess (bless her cat-loving soul) she immediately went out of the house with me to the drain. So there we were, in our ratty pyjamas in the dark, squatting next to a smelly drain, trying to keep very still for what seemed like half-an-hour, but no sign of Mysterious Kitten. Sigh. In the end we gave up and trodded back into the house, disappointed. Oh well, maybe next time.

Some people may find having four cats more than enough, but for a person who used to have 14 cats, four seems like a tiny, tiny number. Sure it may cost a lot of money (shots aren't cheap, and what about catfood?) but there's just something about the company of cats that you can't find anywhere else. And yes, like dogs, cats give you unconditional love too. I have no doubt in my mind that my children will love cats as much as i do, we'll definitely have a household cat/cats and I couldn't imagine being with a guy who didn't love his furry felines (Yasir has a fluffy marmalade coloured cat named Bobo). Call me the crazy Cat Lady if you wish, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

So till I find my kitten, I'm just going to keep on looking. SPCA seems like a good option too. We'll see!

Do you want to be in female magazine?

I'm always looking for girls who would love to appear in our pages for a small makeover or to test out a product/treatment. Two sections of the magazine specifically : Make Me Over (flip to our Beauty Advisor section) and Tries (flip to Beauty Beat..this is where the reader tests out a product and reviews it). Requirements? You really don't have to be model pretty, we feature 'real women' in these sections - just practice your best smile! Haha.

Interested? Drop me a comment here, or e-mail me at aainaa.bluinc@gmail.com and we'll go from there. Don't worry about seeming 'perasan' by wanting to participate, it's a good experience (especially if you get to try out a treatment worth a couple of hundred). If not, what's wrong in a once-in-a-lifetime experience of shooting for a mag?

Oh, and one teeny, tiny thing...shoots will be during a weekday, so if you don't mind taking a day off work or half day (presuming you are working) then awesome. Students are welcome too, I think the minimum age should be 17 or 18 though (unless you look matured).

SPREAD THE WORD, PEOPLE!

sloppy kisses!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

*Spoiler ahead!

To put it bluntly, this shopaholic thinks that the movie sucked. Halfway through, I felt trapped, my mind started wondering elsewhere and my hands were starting to twitch because all I wanted to do was just strip Isla Fisher off at least ONE item of clothing. I'm sorry folks, but I really didn't buy her 'adorable' personality which apparently infected everyone in the movie (she slapped a random man and got away with it, forgodsakes). Even the 'lesson' behind this movie failed to move me,not an inch. We're supposed to applaud her for paying her debt to Derek Smeath in coin jars? Sure, confronting you during a live talk show may seem a bit harsh, but hun, you've been avoiding him for months and months, one stupid excuse after the other, don't you think you had it coming anyway? Sigh.

All in all, the only part of the film I enjoyed was when she 'shake it like her mama gave her' and worked the fan on the dancefloor. That lasted for all of 3 seconds, by the way. To sum it up, this is one movie I would NOT see again, even if someone handed it to me on a silver plate in original DVD form and choked me with strappy Manolos. I think I like my fluffy chick flicks with at least a little substance, thanks.