A letter to my baby boy.

My dearest Ayden,

The day I found out I was carrying you, so much emotion overcame me. I felt like God had answered my deepest prayer - you see, I was a lost soul, longing to fulfill this part in me, which felt empty somehow. I knew there had to be more to life...and I often found myself searching for something I couldn't grasp. I prayed to God to help me seek some calm, for some sense of fulfillment, for something bigger than life. And when the doctor told me I was pregnant one night, I laughed and I cried because I knew that God had heard me all this while and that you were His greatest gift to me. I knew that I had found exactly what I had been longing and wishing for all this time.

As I'm writing this, you're happily kicking and moving in my belly, making me smile, wondering what you're up to in there! You keep me up at night with your antics, but with every sleepless night, every back pain, all my sacrifices and discomfort are leading me to one thing - you. I have never been so in love with someone I've never met before...I dream about what you look like, finally holding you, seeing you looking right back at me, smiling at me and knowing that you're actually mine. By now, you probably know the sound of my voice, and I hope it soothes you and that you already feel loved, because you are. Your daddy is excited about you coming into our lives too, we talk about you all the time and imagine you here with us, a small trio family :) He can't hardly wait to buy you your first Transformers toy from Toys R Us, and watch cartoons with you on a Saturday morning! His face lights up when we talk about you, and I always put his hands on my tummy so he can feel you moving inside me. The first time he felt you move, he was so excited and told me he thought about it at work all day :) I know sometimes he worries if he'll make a good father to you, but I don't have a single doubt in my mind that he'll make an amazing dad, and a father any son would be proud to have - this I am so sure of.

I can't wait to see you grow up...so many 'firsts' I'm looking forward to :) Your first step, our first holiday as a family, your first word, when you first start calling me 'mummy'. I'm not perfect but I hope I'll guide you to be the best person you can be, and I look forward to watching you grow into a young man. Know that I will always be proud of you and I love you with all of my heart, and more. Thank you for bringing me a joy I have never known, which will continue to grow as the years go by. I have yet to lay my eyes on you, but I already think you're amazing :) And know that I will always be here, no matter what.

I'll be seeing you soon, my baby.

All my love,
Your Mummy