My beautiful Mak Ju.

 Mak Ju (13 October 1955 - 3rd August 2012) with Ayden

Never thought I would be writing this post. It still seems so surreal, difficult to swallow. My dearest Mak Ju passed away so suddenly on the 3rd of August 2012. She was only 56. My mom's only sister, she was like a second mother to me. We are all still so saddened by her leaving us, not an indication of any serious illness, no signs etc. She simply stopped breathing around 2am on a Friday morning. She went back to Him so beautifully, so peacefully and without struggle during the month of Ramadhan. She looked so peaceful with a faint smile on her lips when we laid her down in our home, before her burial. I kissed her forehead one last time, careful not to let my tears fall onto her. People who loved my outgoing aunt came to see her, everyone's eyes red and spilling. The house was packed with visitors grieving. You could cut the sadness in the air with a knife. You see, you never forget a person like Mak Ju. Her soft smile etches a place in everyone's heart. She lit up the room with her funny jokes and her contagious laughter. I will always remember her dancing. How she made all of us laugh with her old fashioned moves. How she would ask me where I bought my blouse and I'd ask her where she bought her shoes. Her singing and her voice. How she played the piano so gracefully, the melodic and haunting sounds echoing throughout out house. How she was a supermom to my 7 cousins (she was the kind who baked marshmallows and sold them during CBN's Family Day) and superwife to my Ayah Yem. I grew up with her, sometimes all of us even living under one roof. I have known her everyday of my life.

This Hari Raya will be a sad one for all of us as we visit her grave and long for her to be here with us. For it to be just another Raya, where we'll see her taking her own sweet time getting ready in front of the mirror, looking as beautiful as always in her new raya attire. It pains us so deeply that she's not here with us. At home, there's a gaping sadness, an emptiness that we're all feeling. But after sahur this morning, I read my Aunty Azra's  (Mak Ju's cousin) facebook status about Mak Ju, and this is what she wrote to my cousins:

"My dearest nieces. This morning, while browsing my hp messages, I came across an sms from arwah, during a sad emotional period in my life recently. It had helped me at that time….Let me share it with you now, & hopefully it will somehow help soothe you too during this very sudden change in your young life. I am going to type exactly what she wrote ya. (pls share with zayana too as i cant find her in fb)

Your mother wrote: “Salam azra. Dis is my hp no. Delete the other no then(yg itu zaman tok kadok dah). Everyone goes thru dugaan dari ALLAH, THE SUPREME. HE always have HIS REASONS…some we realise to the reason (maybe for cleansing, kesedaran, keinsafan etc) some we dun ‘understand’ (ONLY HE KNOWS, GOD ALL KNOWING) we are so small in the Eyes of ALLAH. In this time of sadness, exercise patience. Patience will make one(u) endure sufferings over time. Bismillahitawakallallahilahawallaquataillahbillahilaliyiladzim.” Dated: 11 june 2012 at 11.05am

Al-fatihah to my late cousin Wan Julia Hood."

Mak Ju, your own words come at a time when we need them the most. You were always one to comfort people when they were down, because you had a genuine heart. Please know that whenever I feel close to tears thinking about you and the kids and how sad they must feel this raya, I'll take a deep breath and remember what you said. Patience. And we will get through another day.

Rest peacefully, my beautiful Mak Ju. You are with Him now. Al-Fatihah.