Corporate or creative?

This post may turn out to be shitty because I'm in such a rush (my cousins and I are taking turns to use one laptop), but I've got something to vent about and wild horses can't stop me! I just wish I had my laptop with me the second I needed to furiously type away, because a bit of my angst has faded, but here goes anyways. So, two days ago, I had to attend a written test for Petronas, for a Senior Writer position. And here's the thing - my heart wasn't in it. My mother had been pestering me about it for weeks before, with her Aainaa-have-you-sent-your-resumes and her my-friend's-son-is-working-in-Petronas-and-he-enjoys-it-SOOOO-MUCH!" Yes, I know it's Petronas, yes I know it's an incredible opportunity, yes I know the benefits are AMAZING. But it's CORPORATE WRITING. I'm not saying I may not be interested in corporate writing at all, but at the moment there are creative things I want to do, things I'm passionate about. I have always felt that a person is successful when they're doing something they LOVE doing and they excel at doing it.

So on the morning of the alleged 'written test' day, I woke up with this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I got out of bed, and decided to tell my mother one last time that I really didn't feel like going. So I did. And I got yelled at. I then proceeded to find something 'corporate-ish' to wear and I couldn't find my black, high-waisted pencil skirt. Crap. Rummaged and rummaged, finally decided to wear my sister's black work pants and blazer. Which was fine, if it wasn't for the fact that the pants were too short. I swear, when i sat down, the hem of the trousers almost came up to my knees. So, that was bad enough for me. You see, when I hate what I'm wearing, it affects my mood. If my shoes don't go with my outfit, I start getting foul mouthed and PMS-like, I can't help it. 

Rushed to KLCC, got to the Petronas towers, and realised I wasn't sure which bloody tower my written test was in. Called The Boyfriend, he tells me it's tower 2, took the visitor's pass, scanned my handbag for bombs, took the lift to level 45, got out and changed lifts (they have lifts which only operate for odd floored levels) to get to level 69. Yes, I found it a little humourous when I first found out that my written test was to be held at level 69. Anyway. Got out from the lift at said level....and lo and behold, i was facing an empty office floor. Great. Called The Boyfriend again, he checks my e-mail and tells me sorry, it's at tower 1. I suppressed the urge to scream at him because I knew it was my fault for not double checking in the first place. So rushed into the lift to get to level 45, got out, changed lifts to ground floor, gave back visitor's pass, practically ran to tower 1's reception counter, got the right visitor's pass, scanned handbag for bombs, took lift to level 45, changed lift at level 45...and FINALLY made it to level 69. Apologised profusely to the human resource guy, breathlessly explaining the mess up, all the while hoping he wouldn't notice my short pants which came up to my ankles. He then led me to a room with a single laptop on the table, and a piece of paper which had the essay topics of what I could choose to write about. Part 1 required me to write an essay of not less than 800 words, and part 2 was a sub-editing test, where I had to basically, edit. He then tells me I had an hour and a half to do both, and proceeded to leave the room. I took a deep breath and stared at the essay topics.

Crude gas and oil. Right. 

The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on me. There I was, with my ankle-pants, staring at essay topics regarding crude oil. I stared at the paper and it stared back at me. I stared at the laptop screen. I stared back again at the paper. I started getting angry and frustrated. What was I doing there? I didn't want to BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I started wishing I had a brown paper bag to breathe into, but I didn't. I attempted to write something, but by the time I got to 200 words, I had ran out of things to say about crude oil. I knew I had to get out of there. So I got up and told human resource guy I was leaving. He seemed confused, but I left before he could say anything. Got into the lift, got out at level 45, called The Boyfriend and started sputtering and half-yelling about why I was even THERE in the first place, ignoring curious stares from corporate people. 

I was angry. I was annoyed that I was forced to even be there. But most of all, I was sad.

I was sad because my mother had pushed me to apply for a corporate job when clearly, I had gotten a new job which I might actually enjoy doing, a job which allowed me to express my creativity. I know she wants what's best for me, she's my mother - but I was sad that she didn't trust me in making my own career choices. I was sad that she didn't hear me out when I told her, exasperatedly, that corporate writing wasn't exactly what I wanted to do at the moment.  Most of all, I was really, really, sad that my own mother wouldn't listen to me when I tried talking to her, that she raised her voice when I said I really didn't want to do this. Did she seem happy for me when I first told her I got a job at BluInc? Nope. 

I still feel sad as I'm typing this. Will she ever listen?

Sigh.

No internet. Crap.

So in case any of you are wondering why I haven't updated my blog lately, it's because I'm not working till the 2nd of September, so my internet access is pretty much zilch. Don't ask me why I don't have internet at home, my house is weird that way. Plus I don't have a decent laptop and my house phone number is kindaaaaa blacklisted. Har Har. I'm now at my neighbour's house as we speak - desperate times call for desperate measures. I am totally feeling weirded out right now that I'm unable to vent my feelings and type away whenever I feel like it. Ugh. Btw, YES I'VE GOT A NEW JOB, and those of you who feel like they have to imitate me in a high pitched voice while they're drunk can feel free to do so. I believe that's the only time they feel like they're being clever *smiles sweetly*

Anywhoo, I'll be back when I can find the time (and a laptop with internet connection, most importantly). Check back from time to time, if you will. I've got so much to vent, I'm sure I'll cave in someday and might desperately seek out the nearest cyber cafe *gasp*. Till later, my luverlies.


Sloppiest kisses yet xoxoxo

Short and certainly sweet.

This is a big congratulations to my gal pal Shamaine Othman, whose script (Just Married) was brought to life by last night's play at the Short & Sweet festival, held in KLPac. I never knew eating one's boogers could be so fabulous. Congratulations, my darling, so proud.

Bigger things to come from her, people, you just wait! ;)

Fashion orgasm

If I could shop anywhere, it would be HERE (click away please). These clothes are to die for.

Some of my favs:

*Pictures courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage.


Life is unfair.

:(

Tidbits.

If you could come back as a dress, what would it be? Jennifer Lopez's 'almost naked' green dress at some award.

If you could come back as a model, who would you be?Miranda Kerr. She's gorgeous!

What’s your favorite color? Black and white. Red.

What’s your favorite junk food? Super rings. Pods. Butterfingers. Reese's peanut butter cups. Hello Panda.

What are you most vain about? Face. My daily outfits.

What are you most shy about? Going naked in public. I'm sure a lot of people would feel the same.

If you could have somebody else’s body, whose would it be? It's a toss between Jessica Alba or Cameron Diaz, but I'm leaning more towards Cameron's legs.

Who are your fantasy dinner-party guests? Cameron Diaz, Celine Dion (she's hilarious), Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Oprah Winfrey, Justin Timberlake, Josh Hartnett (just because he's sexy), Jessica Biel (so she and Cameron can have entertaining cat fights).

Where is your favorite place to have a drink? Coffee Bean at Pavillion or Starbucks at GE Mall.

Underwear of choice? lace thongs and yes I wear g-strings, so sue me!

Last book you read? Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. No joke.

Any pets? Yes and I love all 8 of them to death.

What’s for breakfast? Leftovers. Sometimes chocolate, if I'm lucky.

At age seven, you wanted to be: Doctor by day and singer by night. I know, I know.

What’s one thing you find easiest to forgive? If someone accidentally bumps into you and says sorry.

What’s one thing you find impossible to forgive? Cruelty to animals.

Do you have any superstitions? I always think I'm going to jinx something if I'm too cocky.

What’s your biggest self-indulgence? CLOTHES AND SHOES. Food. Expensive sushi.

Favorite place to shop? The quaint little boutiques at Bangsar.

Whose wallet would you like to steal? Bill Gates', duh.

Whose diary would you most like to read? Britney Spears.

If you were an inventor, what would you invent? Contraptions that give you lipo without having to go under the knife, or doing anything remotely disgusting.

Favorite car? Ooooh, still the Audi tt, I'm sorry.

What was your childhood nickname? I don't do nicknames.

When and where are you happiest? On a beach holiday. I'm not talking about PD.

Who is your best friend? Mariam.

Who is your worst enemy? My spending. I know this is not a person, but whatever.

What piece of art would you most like to own? The Mona Lisa - this is the most famous painting in the world, can you imagine what a conversational piece it would be at a dinner party??

What’s your favorite vacation spot? So far...London.

Who is your favorite fictional character? Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd.

What’s your most treasured possession? My cats. Do they count?

Your favorite song/band? I like 90s and 80s music.

If you weren’t a sub-editor, what would you be? A Channel V vj.

What current trend would you like to see disappear? The black motorcycle jacket. Simply because I can't wear it in Malaysia!!

What’s your biggest fashion regret? GAH, A LOT.

Favorite trend of all time? Anything which is GENUINELY vintage. Big hair. Red lipstick.

Worst trend of all time? Mullets. Thanks Maine for this one. So true. GAG.

Always: Walk like you're wearing heels.

Never: Forget to brush your teeth before you go out of the house.

Fine wine?

Happy 25th birthday to me!

Well, technically I'm a day late, but I believe birthdays should be celebrated a whole week, I find it a little unfair to celebrate the day you were born in just....a day. I mean, stepping your (then tiny) foot into the world is a huge thing, isn't it? So if you were wondering how I celebrated my birthday, my lovely boyfriend and my gorgeous girlfriend (but in a non-sexual way) Maine planned a sweet little surprise party for me the night before at Redbox, Curve, because they know all of us are mic hoggers - plus, who doesn't love a karaoke session? And as I walked into the door and everyone shouted "Surprise!" while the cheesy 'Happy birthday' karaoke song came on, I felt genuinely touched and a tad bit embarrassed that these people were celebrating...me. It was the first time anyone every threw me a surprise party, so 'that fuzzy feeling' was overwhelming. To sum up the night, it was good food, good company, good cheesecake, cheesy boyband songs and girly pop music kind of fabulous. I loved every second of it.

Then yesterday at work, my mom called me and asked me to order pizza for a last minute makan-makan. My best friend in Perth had called up Secret Recipe (our hang out place everytime we didn't know where to go and were too broke to go shopping) and had a cake delivered to my house. Very very nice of her, if she were here I'd give her a big fat kiss on the cheek. So at the very last minute before I left my office, I called up Domino's and ordered SIX regular pizzas, with all the trimmings which came in the shape of chicken wings and coke bottles. My cousins who are back from Florida (but will be leaving again to Florida in a couple of days) were going to swing by, hence the six pizzas. BUT as soon as my other cousins (all seven of them) and the adults started filling up the house, I realised six pizzas were definitely not enough to feed the hungry crowd, so Yasir and I popped by KFC (while Rayyan - my one-year-old baby cousin slept on me) to round up buckets of originals and spicys. Rushed home, everyone grabbed some grub and out came Mar's cake - it felt like she was there with me, in the form of a coffee cheese cake (or was it tiramisu? either way, it was DELICIOUS). Minus the fact that she was sliced and gobbled up by my hungry family, of course.

After dinner, the cousins and the fiance (Farah's fiance to be exact, Faliq - they're both YOUNGER than me btw) and my boyfriend gathered around and decided to play Hello Jack; a party card game where you have to act out certain actions when certain cards came out. Of course, chaos ensued - my family is loud to begin with, but a noisy card game takes it to a whole new level! When the 'joker' card came out and we all had to jump up and prance about while making 'joker' faces, I almost peed in my pants. Everyone finally went home at almost 2am.

I think birthdays are there to remind us to be thankful about what we have - the boyfriend that loves you even with your random tantrums, fabulous friends you've had in your life since forever or friends who have just recently walked into your life, the noisy cousins, my cute grandparents, my mom, my MIA sister who is now in Norway working hard for the government..and not forgetting my cats, who are constantly hungry, but go up to my room on most mornings and curl with me on my bed to sleep. Birthdays are that one day evey year that lets you know how people appreciate you being around, so they go out of their way to celebrate the day you were born. And that's a very, very cool feeling.

Thanks, guys.