Note to self.

Nobody likes a nagging mother all the time.

Ayden's favourite Sesame Street video

Here's him watching it with his sleepy momma who wanted to take a nap but ended up watching an hour of Sesame Street videos...

Yes, he watches it like he's watching the news. He takes his Sesame Street very seriously, people!

Sloppy Sunday kisses x

Relief.

Someone's feeling much better, alhamdulillah :)

sloppy kisses!

It's no fun.

When your baby is sick, it's the worst feeling in the world. Not fun at all. Get well soon, my baby.

SIGH.

To my baby boy.

Ayden bear,

You're 7 months old now. Whenever I look at you, I still can't believe you're my son and I'm your momma. When I open my eyes in the morning, my day begins with seeing your big, gummy smile and a million sleepy kisses on your chubby cheeks. At night it's whispers of I love you and soft forehead kisses while gazing at your peaceful, angelic face as you doze off into dreamland. This has been my routine for the past 7 months, as if everything that happened before never really did.

I remember sometime two years ago before I even married your Baba, I was sitting at the dining room table accompanying your great grandfather while he ate his dinner. I was quiet while I watched him eat, my mind filled with thoughts of what I wanted to do with my life, where it was heading. I was contemplating decisions about my career, and felt unusually restless. After minutes of utter silence, datuk finally looked up from his plate, looked at me and asked "Aainaa, what do you want to be?" And in an instant, without hesitation, I found myself saying, "I want to be a mom."

And here we are two years later and I'm a mom to the sweetest baby boy. You're seven months old and rolling up a storm, still obsessed with your sesame street DVD (singular, it's this one particular DVD only which you LOVE called Sesame Beginnings Make Music Together) and ready to crawl anytime now - your bum lifts are getting more prominent! You study everything you come across, and always want to be in the know of what's going on around you. The other day when the movers brought all our stuff from our apartment, you wanted in on the action, watching all these men carrying the cardboard boxes and peering into them with a quizzical look on your face. I already know you're a thinker! You recognise faces and have some favourites but I'm your number one lady ;) You love it when I sing to you and study my lips, sometimes touching it with your fingers and smiling softly - especially when I sing Christina Aguilera's 'I Turn To You'. It's our song, you and me. No one else's.

Ayden, you're the missing piece in my life's puzzle. That evening at the dining room table when I told your great grandfather I wanted to be a mom, God heard me then and sent you to me two years later. If I knew back then what I know now, I would have never felt restless. I'm a mom to you, my baby bear, and its been more than my heart could ever begin to imagine or anticipate. When you look at me with your big eyes and touch my face, studying it so intently, I know this is exactly what I'm meant to be doing with my life. You're my proudest accomplishment. Everything else doesn't even come close.

I love you, my baby bear.

Love always and always,

Your Mama

Sunday brunch.

Brunches used to be just us girls (occassionally with the hubs), gossiping, chit-chatting and long conversations. Now there's a wriggly, squirmy, cant-sit-still, 7 month old baby at our table that hogs everyone's attention! But one thing remains the same - good food, great company. That's all you'll ever need :)

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Baby you're so sweet you know you should've been some honey.

I've always loved the lyrics to this song. Enjoy!

sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Ayden Hood is seven (months) on 11.11.11!

7 months of exhausting, happy, overwhelming, gleeful, heart bursting love, morning sleepy kisses, toothless grins, cheek biting, drool wiping, heart fluttering giggly laughter. Happy 7 months, my Ayden Hood. I couldn't be a happier mom ♥

seven sloppy kisses,
your momma bear

Someone loves his rainbow pool...

What an awesome way to spend a Monday ;)

Sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Aidil adha.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha!

Sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa, Yasir and Ayden

Some Saturday Sweetness.

Things have been crazy over here in my world, what with me being sick, and...wait for it...us moving back into my mom's place. Yep. More on that in a later post. Anywhoodle, here are some things to perk up your Saturday morning!

I love this song. Everytime I listen to it I feel like donning a cute polka dot dress, slapping on some red lipstick and sipping on a vanilla milkshake while I tap my toes to the music.

The rest of the stuff I found are all from Modcloth. Hello, OBSESSED with that site. This is probably the cutest clutch I have ever come across:

A couple of coffee table books that I would kill to have in my house (details below are all from Modcloth):

Whether they're Crocs, Docs, or Birkenstocks, the look and style of these noteworthy shoes is universally recognizable. In our own Book of the Month pick for your collection of fashion-focused literature, you can see the 50 most iconic and influential shoes across many eras, from the 1830s to the present. Illustrated with full-color photographs paired with descriptive profiles for each shoe and its designer, this hardcover book by the Design Museum celebrates the prominence of footwear in the culture of contemporary design, from plimsolls to platforms and pumps!

In this highly entertaining paperback "textbook," author Derek Blasberg, a frequent contributor to both Vogue magazine and Style.com, offers "exceptional advice for the extremely modern lady." In contrast, Blasberg outlines the many "don'ts" of unladylike behavior, including how not to dress for formal events, what to avoid doing as a party hostess, and the worst way to approach airplane travel.

This book, penned by Pamela Keogh, is a primer for those who look for an Audrey-inspired life, whether it be in lessons of love, style, the home, or generosity.

And last but not least, here's a cool book every Star Wars fan should have on their coffee table.

Did I tell you they have the ridiculously cutest vintage inspired and genuine vintage dresses? Yep, that they do. I am literally drooling over here. Drool, drool drool.

Alright, off for a shower I go! Have a good weekend everyone!

Sloppy Saturday kisses,

'Aainaa

I can finally muster a little strength to sit here at this computer and type a few measly paragraphs. On Saturday I felt a slow fever creep up on me (Ayden was sick two days before and Yasir was sick on Friday and Saturday) so I was doing whatever I could to stop myself from falling ill - gulps of Redoxon, Vitamin E etc) but on Sunday it was my turn to be completely useless. And it hit me-hard. It started out with a scratch in my throat and quickly turned into a full blown out fever. As soon as I fell ill I knew I wouldn't want to be near Ayden because he had just recovered from his fever. So I watched helplessly as he would cry out to me wanting me, and my heart would break into a million pieces because I couldn't be there for him.

On Monday I was so weak I could barely walk for two seconds without spots clouding my vision. Today I coughed up 'something' in my throat until I gasped and gasped for air because it felt like someone had zipped up my airway passage, like how you would simply zip up a suitcase. That was a scary experience. I tumbled out of bed, into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water with shaky hands as I tried hard to draw in some breaths in a raspy, screechy manner. Beads of sweat formed everywhere on my body and face. My maids panicked and called Yasir while I collapsed onto the kitchen floor. Kak Su who was holding Ayden kept on repeating "Mama sakit Ayden, mama sakit Ayden.." in the kitchen in the flurry of panic. Tears automatically ran down my face. It's scary when you're struggling to catch your breath like that. I continued to screech in a desparate act to inhale some air, any air. Everything was happening in slow motion. In my mind I imagined what would happen if I still couldn't breathe. Someone would call the ambulance. Will I get there in time? Of course I was mostly being overdramatic. But when your lungs are suffocating you tend to get overdramatic. Then I caught a glimpse of Ayden's face from the corner of my eye. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine for my son. I finally could breathe. Nenek took me into her room and rubbed vicks all over me till my neck burned. I felt much better. While I lay there on her bed Bibik brought Ayden into the room. I watched him coo at Datuk and I smiled weakly despite the drama that happened five minutes ago. Now I know the fierce depth of a mother's love. Nothing matters but your family, your son, your children. Your health is for your child first, then you second. Your life is for your child first, then you second. You hear it in songs, in books and in poetry, but till the day you experience it yourself you will never really begin to comprehend this depth.

Such is the power of a mother's love-it breathes air into your lungs when you're suffocating. It gives you strength when you're weak. It makes you live.

Love,
'Aainaa