To my baby boy.

Ayden bear,

You're 7 months old now. Whenever I look at you, I still can't believe you're my son and I'm your momma. When I open my eyes in the morning, my day begins with seeing your big, gummy smile and a million sleepy kisses on your chubby cheeks. At night it's whispers of I love you and soft forehead kisses while gazing at your peaceful, angelic face as you doze off into dreamland. This has been my routine for the past 7 months, as if everything that happened before never really did.

I remember sometime two years ago before I even married your Baba, I was sitting at the dining room table accompanying your great grandfather while he ate his dinner. I was quiet while I watched him eat, my mind filled with thoughts of what I wanted to do with my life, where it was heading. I was contemplating decisions about my career, and felt unusually restless. After minutes of utter silence, datuk finally looked up from his plate, looked at me and asked "Aainaa, what do you want to be?" And in an instant, without hesitation, I found myself saying, "I want to be a mom."

And here we are two years later and I'm a mom to the sweetest baby boy. You're seven months old and rolling up a storm, still obsessed with your sesame street DVD (singular, it's this one particular DVD only which you LOVE called Sesame Beginnings Make Music Together) and ready to crawl anytime now - your bum lifts are getting more prominent! You study everything you come across, and always want to be in the know of what's going on around you. The other day when the movers brought all our stuff from our apartment, you wanted in on the action, watching all these men carrying the cardboard boxes and peering into them with a quizzical look on your face. I already know you're a thinker! You recognise faces and have some favourites but I'm your number one lady ;) You love it when I sing to you and study my lips, sometimes touching it with your fingers and smiling softly - especially when I sing Christina Aguilera's 'I Turn To You'. It's our song, you and me. No one else's.

Ayden, you're the missing piece in my life's puzzle. That evening at the dining room table when I told your great grandfather I wanted to be a mom, God heard me then and sent you to me two years later. If I knew back then what I know now, I would have never felt restless. I'm a mom to you, my baby bear, and its been more than my heart could ever begin to imagine or anticipate. When you look at me with your big eyes and touch my face, studying it so intently, I know this is exactly what I'm meant to be doing with my life. You're my proudest accomplishment. Everything else doesn't even come close.

I love you, my baby bear.

Love always and always,

Your Mama