A life lesson.

You came to me, crying your little heart out, and I rushed to see where the noise was coming from. There you were, sprawled out on my pavement, less than a month old, such a tiny little thing, but a cry that was loud enough for me to hear over the blast of my tv. Without any hesitation, I picked you up and cooed to you, wondering how was it that a tiny little baby kitten was left on my doorstep, without a mother cat in sight? You were so small that I knew you couldn't have ended up there by yourself, so to make sure your mother wasn't coming back for you, I put you down again where I found you and waited for a while inside the house to see if she would come for you. The sound of you crying for your mother made my heart break, and finally, after I was sure she wasn't coming back, I took you in my arms and jumped straight into the car and drove to the vet, because I knew you were too small to eat normal catfood, and I had to give you milk you drink.


Over the next few weeks, I had to get used to taking care of a baby kitten, in between flower arrangements and dress fittings, just to name a few, as I was busy planning my wedding. You were extremely clingy, and I felt like it was very much like taking care of a newborn baby! I had to feed you milk from the sryinge every so often when you cried out for me, and you would only sleep peacefully when you were in the crook of my arm. I woke up at the wee hours of the morning to you crying, calming you down while I mixed the milk powder with water and tested to see that it wasn't too hot for you to suckle on. Sometimes I would get frustrated because I was tired, but I had grown so fond of you, that I didn't think twice about coming to you when you called out for me. Finally, over the weeks, you grew slightly bigger and I could feed you soft food, which had to be hand fed because you would step in your food bowl causing your fur to go all sticky and caked with cat food! There were times your face was so messy from burying your head into the soft food that I had to wash your face with a warm, wet cloth, but you seemed to like it because you would purr as I rubbed you clean, and even fall asleep. There were countless times when both of us would fall asleep on the couch, with you cuddled in my arms. And then there were also times when I was slightly annoyed with you because I couldn't go out because I had to stay home and look after you - yes, you were that clingy and sought for attention every second you were awake! Mama even suggested I take you with me on one Saturday as I had planned to run some wedding errands! After arguing with mama that taking a baby kitten with me would be ridiculous, I spent the whole day while I was out wondering if you were okay, what were you doing, were you crying? I rushed home to you as soon as I could.


After I got married, you started growing into a playful little kitten! You were so naughty, just like a little child, chasing and biting everyone's feet! And you weren't as clingy anymore, but you still had so much love to give, always cuddling with me and kakak. I moved out of the house to live with my husband, but would come by every weekday, my highlight of the morning seeing you run to me at the gate as if you were greeting me, then chasing my feet :) I missed you on weekends when I didn't come by, and always looked for you as soon as I came back to the house. I'd call out for you if I didn't see you, and you would come bolting out of nowhere and come running to me, jump on my lap and nuzzle my arm.


Two weeks ago, the day before you left, we spent the longest time cuddling together on the couch. I was surprised that you wanted to sit with me, because you were going through a phase where you would be too busy running around and chasing the other cats to pay me any attention. But that day, you came to me when I called you, and you fell asleep on my then already pregnant stomach, and purred so loudly. Even as you woke, you stayed on my lap and watched tv with me. We stayed like that for a long time, until I finally drifted off to sleep. And I didn't know then, but an hour later, you said goodbye to me as I woke up groggily from feeling something wet touch my nose. You sniffed my face softly, and I smiled a sleepy smile and thought how cute, stroked you gently and went back to sleep. That was the last I saw of you..


The day I realised you were missing, I was so worried and cried constantly, thinking about where you had gone to, were you alright, were you hurt...a million things ran through my mind. I called and called for you throughout the day, went outside the gate and screamed for you, praying you had just gone for a short walk and would come running home as soon as you heard my voice. I was so upset, I could feel the stress taking its toll on my body and knew that I had to relax for the sake of the baby in my belly. When Yasir came home, all I could do was bury my head in his shoulder and cry my eyes out, because it felt like my heart was going to burst. I imagined the worst things in my head - and tortured myself with the image of you scared, alone and hurt..I had to force those thoughts out of my mind, to calm myself down. Now I imagine and pray that you're in a happier place...


Miu Miu, not a day goes by when I don't think of you. I don't know why you went away, but I'd like to think that God gave you to me for that short period of time to see if I have what it takes to become a mother. If I would look after you and care for you when you were such a tiny little thing, crying away in my arms. Constantly showering you with attention and affection and rushing to you, even at 5am when you called out for me, cooing to you to calm you down. I'd like to think you were put there on my doorstep for a reason, Miu, and when the time came, you left me as you had served your purpose. I hope I did well looking after you when you were abandoned by your mother and alone, and I hope that there was never a moment when you didn't feel loved.


Some people say you learn a lot when you look after and care for a pet. Miu, thank you for the life lesson you taught me, my little one, and know that you will always, always be here in my heart.