Sunday, February 13, 2011

Don't judge me coz I'm pregnant!


I've kinda realised something about being pregnant. There's this sort of 'mould' that exists, which people expect pregnant women to fit into. People are a tad too judgmental when it comes to a pregnant woman and her insecurities about her body changing - if she complains about feeling like a whale, she is seen as being ungrateful that she's pregnant, or too vain. They think a pregnant woman should automatically resume the role of a pudgy, couldn't-care-less about stretch marks persona, where she should waddle about in baggy clothes makeup-less, hair tied in a bun. I mean, it's perfectly fine if you ARE that sort of pregnant woman, god knows all the aches and pains hardly make you feel like spending more than two seconds picking out something to wear (I'm sure every pregnant woman can definitely relate to that), but there are others who still want to make an effort to look good and stylish, even while sporting a massive baby bump. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I didn't fit more into the latter category - even while I'm feeling tired, I still take a while to pick out something I'd feel good wearing (sometimes even Yasir has to help me pull out things from my wardrobe as I struggle to breathe while sitting in front of my closet). I still put on makeup most of the time before I leave the house. Only on a REALLY bad hair day do I put my hair up in a bun. But that's just me - before I was pregnant, I loved spending time in front of my closet, trying on different combinations, finding a handbag and shoes which would complement my outfit for the day. And just because I'm pregnant now certainly doesn't mean I'll give up this aspect of my personality.

It's the same with stretchmarks. People expect you to be okay with getting stretchmarks once your tummy grows. NEWSFLASH: No one likes getting stretchmarks. Do you? If a pregnant woman wants to cry because one day she wakes up and discovers her stomach is laden with stretchmarks, let her. Her body is changing, she needs time to adjust to it, she isn't a frikking robot. In fact, she's got all these hormones swirling around, she might just bawl her effing eyes out. That doesn't mean she's ungrateful that she's with child, that means she's just human. And honestly, some people think that once the baby pops out, she'll be too enamored with her baby and lost in her duties as a mother, that she couldn't be bothered anymore if her tummy has the world map imprinted on it. Seriously, not ALL mothers are the same. If you're a mother who is fine with her stretchmarks, good on you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if you're also a mother who still goes to great lengths to make sure your stomach is stretchmark free (by religiously applying oil, going for laser treatments etc) then good on you too. It CERTAINLY does not make you a bad mother.

And what is it with people who just love to reply "Tsk tsk, you're pregnant, what do you expect!?" and look at you like you're a bad person, when you whine about your face getting puffy, or your ass expanding to the size of an elephant's? Again with the 'pregnant mould'! Does it say anywhere that pregnant women aren't allowed to whine about getting bigger and bigger? Don't YOU whine when you put on so much as 2 pounds? So just because you're not pregnant, it's okay for you to complain while pregnant women are just supposed to shut up and take it like a soldier? Let the preggo unleash once in a while forgodsakes! You're better off saying "You're still beautiful honey" or "Don't worry, you'll lose the weight when you have the baby, I'm sure!" or just blatantly lie and say "Where? You look the same to me! You're all tummy" if you want to make her feel better and to shut her up (this is Yasir's tactic and I fall for it almost 99.9% of the time). Oh, and surprise surprise, some of us do care if we look GIGANTOR in pics. Just because we're pregnant, that doesn't mean we're happy of people putting up pics of us looking like a hippo (this especially goes out to KAKAK :P).

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, pregnant women should be allowed to take pride in their appearance and feel insecure about their growing bodies, as long as it doesn't affect their mental well being. Yes, they are carrying a child in their bellies and should be tapping into their maternal instincts, but I believe they shouldn't have to lose their personalities along the way, and be given some space to vent about the physical changes they're going through. For me, there's nothing more I'm looking forward to than holding my baby in my arms and finally becoming a mom. Just because I complain about not being able to fit into my old jeans once in a while, or spend too much time looking at diaper bags instead of reading pregnancy books does that change a little bit. Not even an inch - unlike my growing ass.

I bet my now too tight, makes-me-look-like-a-sausage-with-legs, old skinny jeans on it.

1 comment:

It's ME ! said...

what pic are you talking about?!?!?
i don't see/have any fat pics of you :P (That's coz YOU ARE NOT FAT!)