Wedding fever

Just a few wedding related links which are just too great not to share:

- Okay, Christina Hendricks' wedding was ages ago. But in case you missed it, this pic of her and her bridal party is so vintage fabulous it's ridiculous, I keep on coming back to it again and again. So freakin' gorgeous.

- I love anything related to Summer Finn's wardrobe in 500 Days of Summer. This wedding dress in this shade of blue would be perfect for her, don't you think? And while we're at it, this wedding cake would be great too!

- Can I have a second wedding so I can serve these DIY popsicles at my solemnisation ceremony? How great would they look in photos??

- I've always loved a romantic backyard wedding. But what I'm really looking at is at this gorgeous bride's lacey tiered wedding gown!

- This wedding is so quirky yet stunning, I'm speechless. And check out her bridesmaids' dresses. So, so pretty!

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Ayden in his cat suit!

Best get up for snuggle time!

sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

The delivery Part II

"My water broke!" I cried urgently in the dark to Yasir, who was sound asleep on the couch next to me at 5am. Water continued spilling out onto the sheets, soaking my gown. It was ongoing, a steady, free flowing gush. It took me a few cries before Yasir finally stirred in his sleep. "Sayang! Wake up! My water broke!" I cried exasperatedly for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Water? No thanks.." mumbled Yasir. I almost laughed hysterically.

"I'm not offering you water lah! MY water broke!!" I half laughed and half screamed. Finally, it registered on Yasir's mind what I was trying to tell him and he found the 'call for nurse' button on the remote next to him. Within seconds the nurse came into the room, and we told her my water broke, so two nurses fetched me the wheelchair and said they were going to wheel me into the labour room pronto. They helped me onto the wheelchair, all the while liquid still gushing out in between my legs and spilling onto the floor. I don't know why, but I apologised profusely to the nurses, feeling a little embarrassed that I was causing such a mess and they responded warmly, "Takpe..biasalah tu," with a smile on their faces.

Once in the labour room, one of the nurses handed me a fresh gown and said I could change out of my drenched gown. So I went to the toilet in a dreamlike state, took off my old gown and saw the light blood stains on them, feeling a bit irked by the sight. Changed into a new gown and felt more comfortable, but as soon as I got onto the bed, I started leaking again. I wondered when my water would run out. And another thought that crossed my mind was Ayden and if he was okay without all that water to cushion him anymore. The nurse told me to try and get some rest, while we wait for me to further dilate. Yasir got out his laptop and put on the 'Labour of love' playlist I had prepared earlier to help me relax. It did help a bit, as soothing songs from Sade, Corinne Bailey Rae and Billie Holiday filled the labour room, as I breathed through my contractions that seemed to intensify with each minute. They were very uncomfortable but still bearable at that point. But because I'd heard of stories of women who asked for their epidural too late, I wanted to get it done and over with because I had made up my mind beforehand that I was going to get through my labour as comfortable as I possibly could.

Around 7am as my contractions got more and more intense, we finally called for my epidural. A female doctor came into the room and made me sign what looked like an agreement, to acknowledge the risks that came with agreeing to an epidural. I skimmed through the sheet of paper, trying not to freak myself out, all the while praying to God for everything to go well, glancing nervously as the nurses set up everything for my epidural. After signing the agreement, the doctor explained to me the procedure, step by step. I sat up on the bed, gown open at the back, clutching a pillow. "I need you to hunch to the front, let your body hang limply, so I can find a nice spot for the needle. I need you to relax, okay 'Aainaa," she instructed me firmly, but in a kind tone. At that point I was still experiencing pretty intense contractions, and with every 'peak', what was left of my amniotic fluid still gushed out in between my legs. Relax Aainaa, relax, I repeated to myself in my mind over and over, struggling a little to do so.

"Okay, I'm going to insert the needle now, you will feel a pinch, but I need you to stay still and try not to make any sudden moves when you feel it."

Here we go. I felt a slight sting as the needle went in, all the while reminding myself to hunch over. The needle going in was a bearable pain, but feeling the the tube (or whatever it was) going through my spine caused me to flinch, as my body automatically 'jumped' from the sensation. Yasir was a good distraction to me the whole time, because I focused on him. Finally, it was done. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thinking that I could finally relax, a nurse began setting up another tube. "What's that for?" I asked nervously. "Ni in case you need to kencing, because you can't go to the toilet," she answered.

Ohmygod, that tube was going into my pee hole.

Having a tube shoved into your you-know-where is NOT a pleasant experience. In my opinion, it felt worse than having the epidural. It wasn't about the pain, it was just the most uncomfortable, ngilu feeling. I clenched Yasir's hand and grit my teeth throughout the whole thing.

After that was over, I laid back onto my bed and felt the contractions become milder and milder. "Rest, sayang. Get some sleep," Yasir said to me. He closed the curtains and I felt myself drifting in and out of sleep.

Honestly, throughout the rest of my labour, I cannot remember how many times a nurse came in to check how far along I was dilated. I lost count at one point. And every single time I was checked, I found myself tensing up more and more as different fingers shoved deep inside me and felt for the baby's head and the opening of my cervix. And with every 'check', I felt frustrated because I had barely made progress. I was dilating so, so slowly. It took me a good few hours just to dilate a centimeter. By afternoon, I was only dilated around 4 centimeters. I prayed that my labour would speed up, reaching for Ayden's onezie every now and then. Hang on little guy, I'm going to see you soon, I channeled my thoughts to Ayden.

The hours rolled by as I drifted in and out of consciousness, and my contractions started to intensify, even with epidural. My family had gathered outside the labour room by 4pm, thinking I would be delivering any minute. Friends bbm-ed me asking if I was in labour. It was a flurry of nurses coming in and out, checking to see how far along I was, and me getting disappointed every single time. With every hour that passed by, my body and mind started feeling more and more tired. Yasir was so lovely, barely leaving my side. My mother accompanied me most of the time too, and I knew my family members were outside supporting me and giving me courage.

Close to 7pm, I was around 8cm dilated. I thought to myself, I was induced at 8pm the previous day, and here I am almost a day later, still in labour. Ya Allah... But by then, that was the least of my worries. I started developing a fever then. A nurse came in and gave me a shot of antibiotics through the drip on my hand, which was unexpectedly super painful. By then, I felt like I was a science experiment as I was poked and prodded, all the while with ongoing contractions for what seemed like an ETERNITY. I just want to hold my baby, please God let this all be over soon, I prayed.

Then my doctor, Dr Paul dropped a bomb on me. He looked at Ayden's heartbeat on the monitor and had this worried look on his face. "Aainaa, because you have a fever, your baby is developing a fever too. His heartbeat isn't looking good." he explained seriously, and all I could hear was 'fever', 'heartbeat not looking good' over and over, while he continued to say something about Ayden being at risk from catching pneumonia. Pneumonia.

This has got to be a nightmare. I felt the panic rising in my chest, as my tired mind wrapped around the fact the fact that Ayden's heartbeat was slowing down. That was the last thing any mother in labour needed to hear. God, I just want him to be okay. I just want my baby boy to be safe. Please God please, I pleaded silently. Somehow I calmed myself down because I knew stressing myself out would make things worse for Ayden. Dr. Paul checked my opening again and said I was dilated 9cm, and that Ayden's head was "just there".

"Aainaa, we've got to get your baby delivered now, we can't wait any longer because of his heartbeat. We'll try pushing normally, with episiotomy and vacuum. If not, we have no choice but to get him out by a c-section," said Dr. Paul. I just managed to nod, and saw the nurses get everything ready for Ayden, taking out a weighing scale and other tools for the delivery.

The moment I had been waiting for, for the past nine months had finally arrived - it was time to push.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

I'm such a doofus (link to The Delivery part 1)

I wrote this post a while back, thinking I would publish it later. So I've just gone and published it, but now it's stuck waaay behind my older posts. And because I'm soo technologically illiterate, I can't for the life of me figure out how to get this post to 'jump' to the front. So here's the link instead. It's about my delivery experience (well, the first quarter of it), so it took me awhile to write about it, because I didn't want to rush into things. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it was such a personal, life changing experience that I had to 'ease' into it. Anyway, click the link to read :)

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

If I could rob a store, this would be it.

Seriously.

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Ayden's first raya.

Going house hopping with a 4 month old baby in tow is no easy feat. But Ayden surprised me and surpassed my expectations (as he always does!) because he behaved like an angel and 'socialised' well with relatives and anyone who wanted to hold him or coo at him. Of course there were the occasional crying whimpers, but only to signal if he needed to be fed or was sleepy. Which, is why I think the baby sling is a GODSEND. Whenever he felt like he was overstimulated or had enough of being fussed over, I'd whip out the sling, put him in and he'd start zoning out because he'd feel safe in his own little cocoon...and give or take a few minutes, he'd fall asleep in my arms. Minus the strain it puts on my left arm after a while, I love when this happens, every single time :)

Here are some photos of him when he's wide awake (the sling makes an appearance in a lot of our raya pics, which aren't here):

First day of raya, in his Superman getup, complete with red cape at the back!

Watching The Glee Project at Maine's!

Darling Maine was kind enough to change Ayden's diaper too. What an awesome hostess ;)

Maine's mum with Ayden!

Ayden checking out a vid of himself on Yasir's phone

Random silliness before my sis flies back to Vevey this Sunday

All in all, what an awesome Raya!

Sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Ayden and I would like to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya! :) Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Random things I think my house needs.

1. These scrabble cushions. Because I like spelling what I'd like to do on my bed. And while we're at it, my couch needs this too. Helps Ayden become a good speller too! Kills two birds with one stone doesn't it?

2. This antique white bookcase. We still don't have a bookcase in our apartment yet, and it is killing me!

3. Crazy fun coasters. Because every house needs coasters which aren't plasticky and flowery. My fav picks here (will sure to delight Twilight fans!) and here.

4. Maybe if I had this on my kitchen wall I'd feel like cooking. And we will never run out of milk, bread and eggs...

Have a good weekend everyone!

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Hello, my name is Ayden.

I want to squeeze Ayden into this:

It is definitely a sign that the seller decided to use the name Aiden as her display pic. All we need is to change the 'i' to a 'y'.

Now, where's that credit card of mine...

sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Delivery gown? Really?

Ok, so my last post was about random stuff I think I need. While we're on the subject - apparently, you can now buy your own delivery gown. This just goes to show that people will make money from ANYTHING. My delivery gown from Prince Court was a hospital standard soft, peachy pink colour (I remember my mom commenting on how pretty the colour was, oddly enough). Give or take a few hours and that nice, soft pink became another less appealing shade as it was slowly but surely drenched with bodily fluids. And no gown, no matter how gorgeous would make me look lovely as I huffed and puffed in the labour room, wild hair pancaked to my sweaty head, face red from pushing. You know that scene in the movie where the woman is screaming, face scrunched up, legs in the air, while everyone yells at her to "PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!! PUSH MACAM MARAH!!! MARAH AAINAA MARAH!!" That was me, except that it would be a Malay movie. Now imagine throwing this gown into that image I just painted.

Kourtney Kardashian should have worn one of these though, because her delivery experience was obviously supernaturally easy (and damn her for making me believe that mine would be the same!!). Kourtney, you would have looked lovely in this. Just sayin'.

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Random things I think I need.

Here is a list of random stuff which I have been checking out and having to hold myself back from whipping out the credit card (yes, I now have a CREDIT CARD, I feel so grown up) so I can spend shamelessly. I will admit that this list is made up mostly of clothes for me and things for Ayden. In no particular order:

1. This rad navajo cardigan. Love, love, love.

2. While we're on the topic of cover ups, here's another gorgeous draped jacket. Butterflies on a jacket. How do I not own one of these??

3. This vintage chanel brooch would go with everything I wear to work.

4. The search for the perfect denim jacket is still on. This looks pretty good.

5. I am SERIOUSLY considering purchasing this giraffe teether for Ayden online. He is obviously going through a teething stage, gnawing on everything and anything in sight, including my fingers, his fingers and my hair. And this teether has really good reviews too!

6. This onesie cracks me up. Rock on, baby!


sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

We are going to be in The Star this Sunday!

My friend Iwan from The Star rang me up a few days ago and told me he wanted to feature my family for an article in The Star, about raya-ing in the city instead of balik kampung. Since I've been a city girl all my life, this was right up my alley :) It'll be in the mstar section, as the article's in malay. Ayden makes an appearance as well! heheh. It's pretty cool that I'll have something to keep and show him when he's all grown up!

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

These almost made me pee in my pants!

Just a few links to brighten up your Thursday! These two are HILARIOUS:

Why having a toddler is like being at a frat party - be sure to read the comments as well!

Crappy laws of parenting

...and this last link will make you shiver in your boots, eeek:

Shark pic

Enjoy!

Sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

Au Revoir ridiculously high heels!

I don't know if anyone knows this, but I love my 5 inch high heels as much as Victoria Beckham loves a good fake tan and being skinny. Pre-pregnancy, I was all 5 inch heels any time of the day, anywhere - even going to my bathroom, if I felt like it. Exaggerating just a tad. Just.

So during my pregnancy, of course I took a break from anything that lifted me off more than 0.5cm off the ground, to avoid being pregnant roadkill. I lived in flats and my Havaianas. To put it simply, I was NOT a Rachel Zoe. Fast forward nine months later post delivery, I was looking forward to rocking my massive heels again.


Not happening.


My feet are just not having it. It's like they've gone to mommyhood-land and do not want to come back. If my feet were alive, they would be wearing mom jeans and driving minivans. The first time I put on heels was 2 months after giving birth, on the way to a job interview. I nonchalantly slipped on my trusty old pair of black stilettos (after dusting off what looked like a small city of moss) without so much as a thought, attempting to pick up from where I left off. A few shaky steps later, I almost fell face forward. I wobbled like J-lo's ass would wobble on a treadmill. It felt WEIRD. I swear I saw some disapproving glances from onlookers practically thinking aloud "Eh kalau tak reti pakai tinggi-tinggi toksahlah pakai oii". And after a few minutes of clunking about in my heels, my feet HURT LIKE A MOTHER. Pun intended. I mean, when I'm out with Ayden I can kiss my high heels buhbye because it seems almost absurd that I would totter about in anything more than an inch high, because if he's not in his stroller, I am carrying him. And the boy ain't light, let me tell you.


Right, second attempt at wearing heels - bought a nifty pair with a shorter heel (around 3 inches or so) for work, telling myself I could work it, no problem. I mean, if I could endure 23 hours of labour and pop a baby out of me, I'm sure I could get the hang of heels again, right?? Wore them to work, and by 3pm all I felt like doing was hurling the mother effers out the window. I didn't care if they're all patent and delicious looking and look like louboutin replicas - those heels will cause some serious injuries, people! They are a hazard! They will kill you! Seriously, how in the world did I manage back then?? How did I master the act of walking for HOURS in four inch heels without so much as flinching?! Ugh.


Something tells me that I will never be able to re-master this skill. My 5 inch heels that I received for my hantaran (never got a chance to wear them because I got pregnant, like a second after the wedding) will still be collecting dust at the back of my wardrobe. Or the only time I'll likely whip out anything more than a 3 inch heel will be when I know I'll be spending most of the outing sitting down. Like to a wedding or something. Or to raya openhouses, when I'll only wobble to a house and back to my car. Better than nothing right?

There goes my fooling everyone into thinking I'm model height when I'm actually not. Damn.


Sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

*cough* *cough*

Excuse the cobwebs that have been building up. Feels good to be back, but my posts might come fewer or more frequently from now on - whenever I have the time to blog, I will jump at the chance. Just a couple of updates on what's goin' down in this life of mine:

- I have a job. I am officially a working mom now, it has been 3 weeks since I last left the world of lounging around in my jammies and kissing Ayden throughout the day. Now I only get to kiss him in the morning before I dash out the door, and late in the evening when I get back from work. He is usually at his cranky best around 8pm onwards, but I muster every strength I have at the end of a long work day and put him to sleep. No matter HOW cranky.

- I am still overweight. I still have 10kgs left to go, and I am SERIOUSLY thinking of going to the gym everyday after work or before work, since my new company has a gym. First I'll need to get myself some shoes for this. And some cute work out gear, maybe.

- My sweet sour bear of a boy has just turned 4 months old. Man, do they grow up fast. He is now always saying "mammamama" which sounds like mama, although we all know he is most likely not calling for me, it still sounds like music to my ears. He also bites his bottom lip a lot, can sit up well (with assistance) and likes to look at cats. The other day, I took him to Aquaria and he spent a good hour and a half (minus the 10 minutes he was asleep in his stroller), looking at all the big fishies and little fishies. Oh, he is also now bald. Well, he was bald when we shaved all his hair off after his aqiqah, but now it has grown back into a sort of crew cut. But the funny thing is, he has this bald stripe all around his head, and people have asked me if I shaved his head that way on purpose. Why in the world would I do something like that, people?? hahah.

-I miss Ayden everyday that I am at work. Big surprise.

- I want these sunglasses.

That is all. For now :)


sloppy, working momma kisses xx

My sweet baby boy is 3 months old!

Three months of boundless, heart-bursting, cheek-kissing joy.

You're my home. I love you, baby.

Ayden the attention seeker!

Getting smooches from the laydees at my cousin Diyana's nikah last Sunday! What a ladies man ;)

I apologise.

okay, I'm pretty sure I've lost a lot of my usual readers when I made this blog private in April. Some of you were friendly enough to actually e-mail me or message me on facebook requesting for an invite, and I was pretty much an a-hole because I didn't reply most of the messages I received. But trust me, I was pleasantly surprised and touched that silent readers I didn't know existed came up to me (well, sort of), wishing me well for my delivery and wanting to see Ayden. I was honestly, very touched. But I guess during the first month after my delivery, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to reply messages or e-mails, let alone start blogging. So unfortunately, I left most of the messages hanging, wanting to reply, but never getting around to it. For this, I apologise profusely. I must seem like a snooty ass person, when I'm far from one! haha. But trust me when I say I appreciate every single reader who takes the time to tell me they enjoy reading my blog. Because it's you guys that make me want to write and update (else where's the fun in writing to yourself eh?).

So to those who messaged me or emailed me, I'm sorry if it seemed like I ignored your messages. You lovely readers are the sole reason my blog isn't private right now :) It's awesome enough, knowing that there are people out there who enjoy my mundane blog posts! For you people, i'll keep on posting random stuff! ;)

sloppy kisses,

'Aainaa

Conversations with my stomach Part II

Me: Hey again.

Stomach: Wassup.

Me: So..I'm really really thankful that you carried Ayden around for nine months and kept him safe. I know it ain't easy...

Stomach: No sweat, dude.

Me: ...I mean, all that stretching and all...

Stomach: Yep.

Me: Yeahhh. Thanks for that....

*awkward pause*

Me: Anyway, don't know if you've realised this but...we're not pregnant anymore.

Stomach: Ahuh.

Me: So could you do me a teeny tiny favour and go back to how you were, you know, before you got all big and stretchy? Not looking like you're around four months preggers and stuff? I mean last thing I need right now is people thinking Ayden's getting a sibling. Already. Heh heh. *awkward laugh*

Stomach: Sorry kiddo, no can do.

Me: Just a ease up a little on the flab and the bloating, that's all...

Stomach: Nahhh.

Me: Sigh. Guess I can't have everything can I?

Stomach: Nope.

Me: Salmon sushi?

Stomach: Nope.

Me: I tried.

Woke up this morning to this face.

I swear, this boy makes me grin like an idiot everytime!

xxx

Next To You

I'm not a Justin Bieber fan, but Yasir says this song is for me...and I think it's really sweet and the lyrics are pretty powerful.

Happy Monday people! :)

sloppy kisses.

Gah.

My weight has decided to rest comfortably at 63kgs. 63. Awesome.

Fine, i'm partly, no mostly to blame because I have yet to start exercising my butt off. I blame all those times I ordered two desserts at Delicious when I was pregnant, or used being preggers as an excuse to stuff my face every five friggin' seconds. Padan muka, Aainaa!

Went 'shopping' at Sungei Wang yesterday to find an outfit for my cousin's hen night because I can't fit into 99.9% of my old clothes and am still sadly wearing outfits I wore when I was pregnant. If I could talk to my old 50kg body again, I would apologise for taking it forgranted - all those times I would whine about my thighs looking slightly sausage-y, or when I couldn't fit into a size 6 jeans. I miss looking at the cutesy clothes in Sungei Wang, grabbing whatever tickled my fancy without thinking twice, trying them on at home and actually FITTING into them. Now, it's more of ohmygod these clothes are so tiny. My arms would look fat in this. What a cute outfit but no way in hell is my ass getting into THAT.

LE SIGH.

I will lose this weight. Even if it takes forever. This ass will fit into a size 8 pair of jeans again, if it's the last thing I do!!!!

Just chillin'!

I have become 'word lazy', so I'll post pics of Ayden to distract y'all instead!

Ayden hanging out with his 4-year-old Uncle Rayyan. Methinks he needs a cousin closer to his age. Wink wink.

Kakak, you reading this??

Fav pic of the week.

I'd like to think that Ayden's trying to show us his favourite number, instead of maybe attempting to pick his nose. haha. Also, his hair is getting too long so it flattens out into a nerdy hairstyle!

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

xxx

Ayden oh Ayden!

From carrying you around for nine months and dreaming of meeting you...

...to finally having you in my arms.

How did I get so lucky? :)

Happy Father's Day, love.

To the best father I know. I may not say it everyday, but I appreciate every little sacrifice you make - working till (very!) late, running errands, spending your hard earned money to stock up on baby supplies instead of that new game that just came out, waking up to change Ayden's diaper at 3am even when you have work the next day - just to name a few.

I am so proud of the role model and father you are to Ayden, the loving husband you are to me and the man you've become.

Happy Father's Day sayang. You've come a long way :)

The delivery.

I've been putting this post off for awhile now, but I'd like to reminisce everything that happened, before my scatterbrain self forgets everything. It was such a lengthy experience, so I'll have to break down what happened into different posts, so I don't just rush into everything. Plus a little cliffhanger adds a little suspense, don't you think?

Okay, here we go.

I was in my 39th week and Yasir and I decided to have me induced. Apparently Ayden was already 3.39kgs then and to lessen the risk of having to go through a c-section from him being too big, we decided it was best to do so. So off we went to Prince Court Medical Centre on the evening of April 10th 2011. I was nervous, but I also felt like I was in a half daze. I was a tad bit in denial about the fact that I would be pushing a baby out of me - really, how do you mentally prepare yourself for that?

So we checked into a single room, with my mother accompanying us. I even managed to skype with kakak and Dicky after I had changed into the hospital gown. A nurse came in and told me that she was going to start the induction at 8pm by inserting a pill called Cervidil. 8pm, it all starts, I remember bracing myself. I watched the clock on the wall like a hawk, nervous about what was going to unfold, but reassuring myself that everything would be fine. I even got out Ayden's onezie and placed it by my pillow to remind myself that soon I would be meeting my son.

Yasir's parents came by around 7pm. I remained calm and cool, chatting with my in-laws despite induction just being an hour away. Finally, 8pm rolled around. The nurse came into the room and everyone waited outside leaving only me and Yasir. The nurse was lovely, she explained that she was going to push the pill deep inside my uterus so it may get a tad bit uncomfortable. She told me to relax so it wouldn't hurt. I held Yasir's hand and looked at him the whole time she got 'all up in there' and inserted the pill. It wasn't so bad, I thought after she had finished, breathing a sigh of relief. Uncomfortable, sure, but not as bad as i had imagined. The nurse told me another nurse will come to check me at 2am to see if I had dilated, and if I hadn't, another Cervidil would be inserted.

I was instructed to lay still for about half an hour so the pill won't fall out should I get up and walk. So I laid in the hospital bed as my in-laws came back into the room, resuming our chit-chat. After we exchanged hugs and they wished me well, my in-laws left and I walked around the hospital to help speed up the labour process. I was feeling very mild contractions but nothing major. Finally, my mom and Yasir said it was best I conserve my energy and rest in bed, so we went back to the room.

Around 2am a nurse came in to check if I was dilated. To put it simply, this 'checking process' involves her shoving her fingers waaaaay up in my vagina and feeling around. I found myself struggling to relax a little, this time. You're 1cm dilated, she told me. 1cm. I guess it's better than nothing, I thought. I'll dilate faster after this, I'm sure, I told myself. She inserted another Cervidil and told me to get some rest.

So we switched off all the lights and Yasir and my mom settled in for the night. Of course, I was far from sleepy. My contractions started getting pretty intense then, and I breathed through each 'wave' in the dark as I reached for Yasir's hand beside me and gripped it tightly. Finally, around 5am, I felt something 'pop' and water started gushing out in between my legs and onto the bed. It was certainly weird, feeling like you were peeing without the ability to stop. In the dark, as water spilled onto the sheets, I said loudly to Yasir, "Sayang! My water broke! My water broke!"

TO BE CONTINUED.

Sloppy kisses,

Aainaa

It's been a while.

As I attempt to resume blogging again, I can't help but feel overwhelmed. Because so much has happened in such a small amount of time.

Let's just say, life for me, has changed.

I have a sweet baby boy who makes my heart sing just by smiling at me. And everytime I look at him, I still can't believe he's mine.

Ayden, a few weeks old.

Of course, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. There were days when I was so tired and frustrated, I would literally feel like tearing my hair out. The first month was especially tough. I hadn't gotten enough sleep since my last night at the hospital, my stitches were aching, my back still sore from the epidural and best of all, my fingers were numb from carpal tunnel syndrome. I was seriously sleep deprived and running on pure adrenaline. Breastfeeding a demanding baby

boy made my breasts so sore and sometimes excruciatingly painful. Ayden would wake up sometimes as often as every hour in the wee hours of the morning, and would barely sleep during the day, so sleep to me seemed like something of the past. Ayden made it worse when he would scream like he was being beaten during every diaper change, and I was doing everything in my power not to get upset from seeing him upset. Babies cry, that's what they do, I would remind myself. And yet with every wail coming out from his tiny little body I felt my tired body and mind getting even more tired.

Man, it was tough.

His short nap during the day

No one really prepares you for how tough being a new parent can get. Everyone talks about the rainbow. No one tells you about the rain. You're unprepared on how overwhelming and new it all is, when you're so tired you can barely care for yourself, yet you have to muster every energy you have in your aching body to care for a tiny little thing. And this 'tiny little thing' will demand every second of your attention, every minute of every hour, everyday.

I suppose it was extra hard for me because I didn't get much help caring for Ayden. Some people have extra hands to help take care of their baby as they catch up on some much needed rest and sleep, but I barely had time to myself. I was trapped within the four walls of the upstairs bedroom in my grandparents' house during my confinement. I couldn't go downstairs because that was part of the rules of the confinement period - strictly no walking up and down any stairs. I had no tv, no internet access, all I had was my blackberry. My mother was still working during the day, Yasir would also be at work, and my maid had house chores to do. So when you're left alone to care for a baby that demands your attention 24/7 while your body is screaming for some rest, you feel like you're hanging on your last thread of sanity. There was no such thing as 'you' time. Showers lasted for five seconds, and meals were barely finished as you gulp down your food because your baby was stirring in his sleep, ready for feeding time. All that keeps you sane is knowing that you have a son to care for and the unconditional love that already exists, despite how hard it got.

Then sometime during this challenging first month, something magical happened. Ayden cracked his first smile! It was one of those nights in his early weeks when he couldn't sleep and was keeping me up at every hour, which seemed like most nights, of course. I was in the midst of changing his diaper for what seemed like the millionth time, my eyes barely open. He looked at me. I looked at him. And somewhere between me slapping on some diaper rash cream and him crying his eyes out, he smiled widely at me. I swear, my heart stopped. It was such a genuine smile, the kind that takes your breath away. I let out a squeal of delight, and all the tiredness that had wrapped itself around my body disappeared. All those sleepless days and nights forgotten. Just like that.

Ayden at 2 months

Now, my little baby boy is two months old as of June 11th, 2011 and is so generous with his cheeky smiles :). He's a bright little thing, already showing so much of his personality - cheeky, outspoken and funny. He's always trying to 'speak' to us - he'll make sounds and the cutest expressions (sometimes at 4am while you're struggling to stay awake!) and you can hold a conversation with him as he responds to what you say with his 'baby speak'. You can see him studying your mouth as you talk as he drinks it all in, his eyes filled with fascination on how it all works. He loves watching Sesame Street on youtube (he can never tear his eyes away from Will.I.Am's What I am video particularly) and laughs a silent laugh, his mouth wide open and his eyes crinkled up, though lately some giggly sounds have been coming out of that tiny little mouth of his!

A blurry photo of Ayden laughing :)

He sleeps for longer during the night now, his bedtime around 9pm and waking up twice throughout the night - a nice break compared to every hour during his first month.

Us watching How I Met Your Mother on tv!

He has taken a liking to watching tv, I'd prop him up in his bouncer and he could spend a good half hour with his eyes just glued to the screen. I also love propping him up against my knees, I'd sing to him and talk to him about anything and everything under the sun and more often than not, he'd let out squeals of delight in between his 'baby speak', seemingly understanding every word I'm saying. He has vivid dreams too, sometimes bursting with laughter out of nowhere, then resumes sleeping.

And when he looks at you with what seems like pure admiration in his eyes, you feel like you can slay any dragon that comes his way.

It's true what they say - nothing can be more challenging and rewarding than raising a child of your own. The feeling is one that's just impossible to describe. No one will make you feel so much. It's an out-of-this-world kind of happiness.

You never knew your heart could fill with this much love. It seems almost impossible, yet you feel it.

Ayden Hood, nothing makes me happier than knowing I'm spending the rest of my days with you in my life. You are certainly a gift - you have only been here for a little more than two months and already you've taught me so, so much. About patience, a love I have never known and myself. I am a whole different 'me' because of you. I hope I'm doing a good job as your mother, and know that I will never let any harm come your way. And seeing your father evolve into a responsible, hands-on dad amazes me day by day, too.

Nothing makes us both prouder than to have you as our son.

I love you, baby. More than anything in this whole wide world.

xxx

Nighties!

Went to Ampang Point alone today to find me some cheapo, but reasonably cute nighties which unbutton at the front so it'll be easier for me to breastfeed. I scouted around at the outlet stores at first, but none of them actually had comfy cotton nighties with buttons at the front! I did come across some pretty cute pyjama pants and t-shirts, but I didn't want to give up on my search for cotton nighties just yet, so I headed to Royel. Jackpot! My eyes lit up as soon as I saw the rack of sleepwear which met the criteria I had in mind. Cotton? Check. Decent length? Check! Buttons at the front for 'easy access'? Check! Cute? Check! Comfy? Hell yeah.

So I grabbed three - yellow polka dots, dark blue and white polka dots (dark colours are better for your stay in the hospital - should you 'stain', after delivery) and a festive floral patterned one. Mission accomplished.

Also bought some disposable undies, I'll be on the lookout for some cheap, comfy cotton ones tomorrow. My old ones are getting pretty tight. Boo.

Oh, came across this jewellry site with custom made pendants. So you can stamp your name, or your kids or hubster's. They've got some pretty cute designs, but I'm liking the simple 'initial' idea:

http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/teenie-tiny-initials-necklace-P100C8.aspx

So I would be wearing a 'Y' for Yasir and 'A' for Ayden around my neck :) Funnily enough, both letters are my initials, though I hardly use my full name.

Hope everyone has a good weekend! Wish me luck for my maternity shoot on Sunday!

Sloppy kisses xxx

Cheesy O's

Yasir and I have a maternity shoot this weekend (I think)because a photographer friend of mine generously offered us the opportunity for a photo session with The Picture Company at One Utama. While I know this is definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity, I'm a bit worried because it's going to be in a studio, and I'm nervous the pics might turn out to look like your typical, cheesy maternity shoot, because there's not much to work with. It's definitely nothing against the photographer (I've seen The Picture Company's work and they're really good!), it's just that you can only do so much with a studio backdrop, you know?

A part of me is thinking, just go ahead and do the whole black and white, 'raw' feel sort of shoot, partly because I'm too lazy to think of anything else, but another side of me feels I need to think of a new 'angle' to the shoot so Yasir and I will have our stamp on it. I have a feeling I'll go with a basic studio shoot, but put enough 'twists' on it so it doesn't turn out looking like your average maternity pics. Or at least I hope!

Oh, here's a lil' something to brighten everyone's day - maternity shoots gone baaad. Haha

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/category/photos/pregnancy/

Enjoy!

Sloppy kisses.

Yasir is so cute.

Last night while we were watching tv, the baby proceeded to stretch the right side of my stomach really 'high' (and I mean high!) a couple of times. So my husband put his hand on the 'stretched' area and stared at it in awe. Then after a few seconds of just staring at my belly, he looked up at me with this adorable, concerned look on his face and said, "Maybe dah sempit sangat for him in there. Kesian dia kan?"

You're so annoyingly cute sometimes, sayang.

So they say..

"Talk to her and tell her how you feel."

There is no point because you have no say. Ever.

There is no such thing as two sides to a story. Your story is always wrong. That's how it has always been, and that's how it always will be.

Take it like a soldier.

Who cares if you're almost nine months pregnant? When you're being yelled at with a finger pointing you in the face, you're supposed to "SHUT UP!!" and listen. Ignore your baby who's furiously moving in your stomach as you try your best not to get stressed out. Swallow it whole. Keep it inside.

It's always your fault. You are always at fault, Aainaa. Even when you are quiet and all you want is for the yelling to stop, you are the one at fault. Remember that.

Dearest kakak.

I hate admitting this, but I miss you 'having my back'. Please come home soon, because I think I'm going mental. If you know what I mean.

Love,
Your awesome sister

This just in!

Ladies, Sephora kl is opening next month, AND stocking Nars! While I'm busy being 'confined' at home with my baby, I know where Yasir will be on a fine Saturday morning in April - rushing to Sephora to get me my Nars Highlighter in Albatross! Heh heh heh.

Don't say I didn't warn you sayang!

The wash.

All this while, as I kept on telling myself that I'm going to have a baby, it never completely hit me - I constantly dream about my baby boy here in my arms, finally, and becoming a mom. I've even told my cats that soon they should be expecting a tiny little thing, and to be gentle with him. I read my old childhood books to him (he seems to like Mother Goose's Fairy Tale about The Ugly Duckling - one of my all time faves too) But whenever someone would ask me THE question : "How does it feel knowing you're going to be a mom soon?", I get an out-of-body experience, and feel like I'm leading someone else's life. Because when something is SO major, it takes a while for it to completely sink in.

But today, as I handed Ayden's pile of clothes to my maid so she could handwash them, I swear nothing has felt more real. He's coming. He really is! And I'll be here to welcome him with my arms as wide open as they will ever be.

:)

Aaaaaaack.

Ok, panicking just a tad because there are still a few important stuff we need to get our hands on ASAP (this week!) so I won't feel so unprepared should the baby decide to 'pop' out next week:

- mattress for crib
- bedding
- tub
- breast pump
- nursing cover (so when ppl come to visit me, I don't have to flash them my boobs!)
- sleepsuits! (He seems to only have 2 of these)

By this weeeeeeeeek!

Xxx

Ticking 'timebomb'!

I am feeling a tad bit antsy because in a matter of days I'll be in my 35th week and it's not out the ordinary for a woman to deliver in her 36th week. So by this week I'll need to get as much stuff prepared and ready as possible, just in case. This includes packing the hospital bag. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to bring, all I can think of for now are these:

- baby's onezies
- swaddle blanket
- booties, mitts
- kain batik (2 at least)
- maternity pads\extra long sanitary pads
- toiletries: soap, my cleanser, toothbrush etc
- surah yaasin
- t-shirt for me to wear with kain batik, or cotton nightie. Possibly nighties which unbutton at the front so I can breastfeed easily
- maternity bra
- a few breast pads just in case
- comfy, granny undies! Haha. Oh and disposable undies
- snacks
- camera!
- ipod (if I can borrow one from someone!) And yasir wants to borrow his friend's handheld game thingy.
- jumper and socks in case I get cold

Hmmmmm..can't really think of anything else at the moment...what else am I missing?

You know you love your man..

...when you spend months and months looking over, scrutinising and trying to decide on the perfect diaper bag for yourself, but after coming across a 'football' diaper bag, you forget about everything else you've seen and decide in a matter of seconds to get that instead, just because you know it will make your man happy :)

My diaper bag can wait. Can't wait to see you bringing our son around, with the bag in tow sayang. I love you.

P\s: Thanks to my lovely cousins Aza (all the way in the states!) And Farah for making this happen! Big hugs and kisses! Xoxo

Doubletree hotel and a weird dream.

I'm typing this from my bb, waiting for 2pm to roll around for our dreaded check out (we requested for a late checkout). While I'm feeling guilty for being cosily tucked away in a lush hotel bed while Japan is going through a devastating situation, I'm trying to enjoy the last few weekends of alone time with Yasir before the little bugger makes his debut appearance. Went for a swim (decided against the bikini for fear of scaring away the children at the pool..and besides, the last thing I want is a kid screeching "Mommy look at the whale!") and have consumed three of the giant Doubletree chocolate chip cookies thus far. Love it so much that Yasir bought a whole tin for us to bring home! Oh, last night I had another weird, I'm-in-labour dream, where an old ex schoolmate of mine said, "Apa susah, just induce and cut lah" as I was walking into the hospital. And then somehow I ended up warded next to a gay couple, where one of them had his legs up in the air and was mimicking pushing a baby out. After 5 minutes of 'pushing', a nurse came in and handed them their baby, which by the way, had a full-on beard. Yep. I have a feeling this dream has something to do with me reading that article on the world's first pregnant 'man' the other day.

I should really stop googling.

Sloppy kisses xx

For Ayden.

I wanna feel this way longer than time,
I wanna know your dreams and make them mine,
I wanna change the world only for you,
All the impossible I wanna do...

I wanna hold you close under the rain,
I wanna kiss your smile and feel your pain,
I know what's beautiful looking at you,
In a world of lies you are the truth...

And baby...
Everytime you touch me I become a hero,
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you everything you ask for
Nothing is above me...
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me...

I wanna make you see just what I was,
Show you the loneliness and what it does...
You walked into my life to stop my tears,


Everything's easy now- I have you here!

And baby...
Everytime you touch me I become a hero
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

Everytime you touch me I become a hero
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle ïn the dark
When you tell me that you love me...

You love me
When you tell me that you love me.

Life as we know it.

In more or less a month, life as I know it will change.

I'm going to be a mom. Insyaallah. I'm going to be responsible for shaping and moulding someone's life. I have to be more aware of the actions I take and the decisions I make. It's not about me now, it's about my son.

My son.

Me? A mother?

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself if I'm ready. The truth is, I'm scared. I might not make the perfect mom. Am I fooling myself into thinking I'm ready to raise a child? Sometimes I can barely take care of myself. I'm scared I'll make mistakes...I'll stumble, this I know.

I don't have it all figured out yet.

But once he wraps his tiny little fingers around my finger, I'll love the little guy so fiercely and I'll be there for him, no matter what, come what may. My world will revolve around this little being. Protecting him, loving him selflessly and watching him grow into the person I've shaped him to be.

Life as we know it will change forever. Because soon, I'll have my son with me.

That glow.

Warning: Girly post!

So as it is, my blog is a mixture of my thoughts, fashion, beauty and pregnancy. It's something we Malays would love to call 'rojak'. Damn, I haven't had rojak in a while.......ANYWAY, today's post is obviously going to be a girly one. Yay.

I've been semi obsessed with highlighters, luminizers bla bla blas lately. Basically anything that promises to give your skin a 'glow'. I have no idea why, it just simply started as a curiosity, and now has become sort of like an obsession. Maybe it's from spending too much time surfing the net. Yasir thinks I should stop with the girly stuff, since I'm carrying a boy. He insists that I read the superhero comic books which are upstairs in the room. Schmeh. But just to shut him up, I will. I WILL SAYANG. Anywhoodle, remember how I bought Benefit's That Gal? Do any of you have rave reviews about it? Because I think it didn't do jack to my skin. It looks like this:



I do kind of like the smell, and the packaging is adorable, but the 'pretty pink glow' the product promises vanished in like, five seconds after slapping it on. I believe that if you have fair, flawless skin and apply some of this primer and leave it at that, it may add a little radiance. But if you're like me and apply this under your powder foundation, you're less likely to see much difference.
One good thing about this product though, is that it does nourish your skin a little bit, so if you have dry skin, this may help make it more supple and soft before you start applying your foundation.

Then I heard about this product from NARS, which isn't really widely known so much, but is apparently getting RAVE reviews front right left and center:

NARS Highlighting Blush Powder in Albatross

I can't remember how I stumbled upon this product, but I've yet to see a bad review on this! Apparently what it does IS give you the J Lo glow. You apply it on your cheekbones, temples, on the bridge of your nose and your cupid's bow for a glow which looks like you've had tonnes of great sleep, or use really expensive skincare. The shimmer particles in this product are very fine, so it won't give you that shiny goldust'y' look - it's just supposed to give you a glow that seems like it's coming from within. A reviewer of this product on Youtube says it gives you 'angel' skin. So of course, because I'm going through this obsession with 'glowy' products, I am ITCHING to get my hands on this. Even asked a friend of mine who was going to Singapore to get it from Sephora. And I now know that Sephora in Singapore does not stock NARS. Damn. Oh well. As soon as Sephora opens up here, I swear this will be the first product I will grab.

Anyway, then I stumbled upon this nifty little product:

Eyeko 3-in-1 Cream with Extra Glow

Not sure if any of you have heard of Eyeko products, but after reading reviews of it online (which are more towards the favourable side), I've decided to give this moisturiser, eye cream and highlighter a go. While the cute 'japanese inspired', cartoon-y packaging looks Asian, this brand is actually created and made in England. If you like your makeup products looking a little quirky girly, you may love the packaging design of this beauty range. The mascara actually comes in what looks like a squeezy tube. Pretty cute. Right, so on to the description of this cream, taken from the website:

Eyeko Cream with Extra Glow is a multitasking highlighter with all the benefits of your favourite cult classic Eyeko Cream. This NEW dreamy pink cream is loaded with micro light reflecting pigments perfect for creating a soft focus sheen. Add a flattering highlights to brow and cheek bones, your cupids bow, even collar bones and shins for a touch of moonlit magic.

Creating the illusion of perfect skin has never been simpler with Eyeko Cream with Extra Glow!

So apparently this is a follow-up to Eyeko's 'cult classic' Cream, which gives you a golden glow, while this limited edition one gives you a more 'silvery' glow. A lot of users claim that the cream is very similar to Benefit's High Beam luminizer, but at a fraction of the price. While the cream promises to be a moisturiser, after conducting thorough research, I think I won't be using it all over my face (too shiny) and use it as a highlighter instead. You can opt to mix it in with your foundation, but remember, a little goes a long way. Still waiting for it to arrive in the mail - fingers crossed it won't be a disappointment! Hopefully when Ayden arrives and I'm getting by on minimal sleep, this will kind of make me look awake and refreshed. We'll see!

Ok I'm done - on to the comic books!

sloppy glowy kisses,
Aainaa

p/s: Anyone got a favourite 'glowy' product? I'm all ears!

.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Enough said.

It must be rubbing off...

Because my husband now wants to get THIS diaper bag from Timi & Leslie:


No prizes for guessing he loves american football! When I saw this bag, I sent him the link and he got all excited straightaway. Hopefully we'll manage to get our hands on it, would be so cute to see him lugging it around! Oh, but this doesn't change me getting a diaper bag of my own, of course :p

xx

p/s: Have I told you guys Ayden has a onezie which actually says "future quarterback"?

Kak Sazzy's Lil Divas baby shower!

Kak Sazzy looked so beautiful and radiant at her shower and all of us enjoyed the really good food and company. So happy for her and Abang Nash - their little twin girls are going to be the cutest things ever. Here's to future playdates and our kids growing up together :)









Love you bebeh! xx

My weekend and animal suits.

Last weekend was quite productive - the hubster and I ran a few errands (if you can call them that), met up with his parents and attended a baby shower. Whew, I am pooped! We went to Sungei Wang on Saturday because Yasir wanted to send his xbox for 'surgery' (don't ask) and I am proud to report that I did not feel like fainting while we were there - for once! Oh, and because I had been craving for a leather jacket, my darling Yasir got me a 'leather' jacket from one of the shops in Sungei Wang. I think that helped my lightheadedness a little bit heh heh. The shop assistant looked at me like I was a crazy pregnant woman trying on a leather jacket. Waittaminute, I was. Anyway, I am already imagining going off to Vevey to visit kakak and Dickie with Ayden in tow, wearing my new jacket. And Ayden would be wearing one of those little hoodie jumpers and jeans. That, or I'd squeeze his pudgy little body into one of these:



Much love and thanks to Ayden's godmums, Zara and Mar :) Twenty years from now, when he brings home his girlfriend he is going to cringe when I whip out the pictures of him in these suits!

*evil laughter*

Oh Ayden, you know mummy loves you ;)

How I'll feel when I look into his eyes and hold his little hand for the first time.

God must have spent a little more time on you

Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
I never thought that love could feel like this
and you've changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
there's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(A little more time, yes he did baby)

In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold
When you came in this world
And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child
That's deep inside
Leaves me purified

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...

Never thought that love could feel like this
and you changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (peaceful and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...

Perineal activity.

First off, for those of you who aren't sure where the perineal area is, it's the area between your vagina and your anus (pardon my french), which tends to tear during delivery. Honestly speaking, I had never ever heard about perineal massages for pregnant women before I got pregnant, so when a friend of mine mentioned something about putting oil around that area and massaging it weeks before you're due, I was like, "Heh?". Yeah, actually I think that was my exact response. So after googling it and finding out that it's actually quite an important thing to do if you want to avoid tearing (it doesn't work 100% of the time, but there's no harm in trying!) I went and bought myself the Perineal gel from Mothercare. On 30% discount too. It actually costs around 30 ringgit-ish, so not expensive. This is what it looks like:
Anyway, you're supposed to massage your perineal area for at least 5 minutes, twice a day. here's a how-to vid <--click! What it does is make that area softer and more elasticated in preparation for stretching. Get your honey to do it for you, to make it a fun activity. I suppose that's as fun as it gets, when it comes to the perinial area..

Random thing - I had no idea that we have Smashbox cosmetics now in Parkson Pavillion. Maybe it's because I never really venture into that territory. Spent a good two hours trying to decide on which makeup I should get to give my skin a 'radiant' glow - feeling so darn tired nowadays, so I thought, hey, might as well fake it! After spending what felt like two YEARS going back and forth between makeup counters, I bought Benefit's That Gal. Have it on my face now. Looks....normal. Not exactly J Lo. Oh well.

Going to Kak Sazzy's 'Little Divas' baby shower today! Should be fun!

sloppy kisses!

Beauty Schmeauty.

So ladies, what's the one beauty or makeup product you cannot live without, and why do you love it so much? Thoughts?

From the movie Stepmom.

"Can daddies fall out of love with their kids?" the little boy asks his father.

"That..... is impossible." the father answers. And they both laugh as the man hugs his son.

Movies.

Easy access.

You know you're already a mother when you look at a gorgeous top or a dress and the first thought that comes to mind is "Will I be able to breastfeed my son wearing that?".

Perjalanan Panjang Sang Pemenang - ANAKKU (Vina Panduwinata).flv

This video always makes me weepy. Happy Friday everyone!

love,
Aainaa

Keeping it (subtly) sexy.

I was watching the red carpet at the Oscars, and found myself drooling over this particular celeb. A FEMALE celeb. I don't know if it's because I have a tiny little penis inside my uterus (okay, okay, horrible joke - horrible but true when you think about it) or because I can appreciate a woman's beauty (I sometimes point out hot chicks to Yasir while we're walking), but this gal screamed sex on legs. Not in a wham-bam-in-your-face-boobs-ablazing Pamela Anderson kind of way, but in an I-look-this-hot-even-when-I'm-taking-a-dump kind of way. Meaning, naturally hot. Like it didn't take a whole hair and makeup brigade to get her to look that smokin'. I swear Maybelline was probably thinking of her when they coined the slogan "Maybe she's born with it". Anyway, I found out that this celeb's name is Jennifer Lawrence (I know, I was like "Jennifer who?" too) :





Okay, okay, so maybe her dress kinda looks like what a Baywatch swimsuit would look like as a gown, but in my opinion, girl was rocking it. I don't even mind the hint of side boob. Something about the simplicity of her Calvin Klein Collection dress minus the frills and thrills we're so used to seeing on the red carpet and the casualness of her hair and makeup that made it so darn effective. And paired with just a tiny bracelet as an accessory? Genius.

It got me thinking that the simplest things, when tailored in the right way and coupled with effortless style are volumes sexier than a teeny tiny bikini. A luxe fabric, a slight hint of shoulder, or a glimpse of a toned back go a long way than say, anything Lil' Kim has ever put on her body. Ever. A while ago, I was going through the ASOS website (free shipping WORLDWIDE, people. Proceed with caution) and found a few classic, minimalist but oh-so-subtly-sexy pieces I would love to have in my wardrobe right this instant. Fine, maybe in two months after my confinement period. Also, after I lose the weight...which could be more than two months. And probably if Marie France Bodyline decides to sponsor me:


I don't really like how it's being modeled in this picture because of the hair and the cut out tights, but I was sold on this off shouldered top when I saw the video of it <--click. There's just something about the way the fabric falls off your shoulder in a nonchalant, 'it's not meant to be off shouldered but oops it keeps slipping off by itself, oh well!' way, and exposes just a hint of your back. Hot. Then there's this top too: So simple, yet slinky. There's just something so sexy about it that you can't place your finger on. Imagine pairing this top with a pair of 'geeky' black glasses and messy, wavy hair. Umm, can someone say office hottie?


Then there's THIS little number:



Seriously, what could be sexier than a grown up version of the girly white dress you used to wear as a kid? Still don't think it's sexy? The video (<--click!) will change your mind. God, I want this dress so bad my heart is doing this weird palpitating thing :(



This jersey dress looks like one of those things you would have hanging in the back of your closet, which you would just slip on without giving it a second thought, hair all messy, as you head out the door...and STILL look ridiculously sexy.

So here's my ode to the simple, but classically sexy pieces a woman can never, and SHOULD never have enough of, in her wardrobe. Sometimes we've gotta stop giving that one shouldered abstract print, cutout dress so much credit, and learn to appreciate the beauty of a simple white tank top. Or in Jennifer Lawrence's case, a simple red dress.

sloppy kisses,
'Aainaa

I feel like wearing a black leather jacket.

...the more I look at it, the more I want to wear it. Maybe I should stop looking at it.

Le sigh.